CHiPs Ahoy!

by tony on August 3, 2009

FOODGARBL Austin believes in staying in shape.  For Caucasians, we recommend a high-intensity run through East Austin at night.  If your shade is more khaki or Kahlua, then we recommend a brisk jog past the Rollingwood Police Station in a ski mask.

CHiPs Ahoy!

These should do the trick.

Don’t forget to load up on plenty of water and carbs before you head out.  A good rule of thumb is one chocolate chip cookie for every mile you plan to run.  As for water, FOODGARBL recommends you wear a Batman-style utility belt with lots of water bottles clipped to it like a thirst-fighting superhero dipshit.  There are tens of thousands of water fountains in Austin, but they are hard to spot with $500 Ray-Ban Sports on like Lance.

Finally, don’t forget your fanny pack for keys, wallet, possum mace, D-cell flashlight, ankle weights, spare fuses and CVS coupons.  Happy Trails!

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: