I’m not a Gym Rat and That’s a Fact

by sara on January 15, 2010

I just witnessed an apartment couple breakup so I’m a little emotional.  It was kind of sad because it was obvious the guy wanted to peel out for dramatic effect after the girl slammed the car door but he was in an awkward spot on the street so he had to settle for a 4 point turn.  Breakup FAIL.  When Jason and I fight at least we throw things that shatter.  Anyways, we were on our warm-up walk to the community gym to get swolled when all this action occurred.  We’ve been running a bunch lately but we both decided we wanted to incorporate weights into the workout routine.  I’ve never been one to go to the gym to work out and tonight reminded me why I don’t like to go.  It smelled like cat pee, there was a schizo singing to herself on the treadmill and we had to wait on Crackerjack and Rockstar to stop staring at themselves in the mirror so they would get off the machine.  Oh and I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.  I probably would like it a lot more if I had a trainer to SHOW ME what to do and when to stop.  But I don’t so now I’m sore.  Hey at least I pretended to know what I was doing.

If Tony Little and Chuck Norris had a baby...

If Tony Little and Chuck Norris had a baby...

Beats the self defense class going on upstairs.  Miss Congeniality already taught me how to PWN a n00b: S.I.N.G. Solar Plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin!

Beats the self defense class going on upstairs. Miss Congeniality already taught me how to PWN a n00b: S.I.N.G. Solar Plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin!

Plank pose crooked back hold.  I invented this move.

Plank pose crooked back hold. I invented this move.

Um, sorry, he's taken.  Unless he pulls a Ronnie and beats up a drunk guy on the Boardwalk.  Then he's yours.

Um, sorry, he's taken. Unless he pulls a Ronnie and beats up a drunk guy on the Boardwalk. Then he's yours. Roid rage!

Like most days, I woke up this morning thinking about lunch.  I wanted to get to work and bust my butt to get things done so I could go out for something amazing.  You ready for the wrench in that plan?  One of my teammates, recently promoted to manager, kind of a big deal, was being all needy and wanted someone to take him to birthday lunch.  Can’t these people just be happy with what their wife packs in their lunch pail?  We wanted him to have his special day though so we told him to pick where he wanted to eat.  Anywhere is fine with us!  This is going to be awesome!  Birthday lunch somewhere amazing!  So we go to Chipotle.  WTF?

Choked down about half of this.  As Lil Wayne would say, "I'm ill."

Choked down about half of this. As Lil Wayne would say, "I'm ill."

Punishment for making me eat Chipotle?  Your picture on the interwebz holding a girl's purse.  GOTEM.

Punishment for making me eat Chipotle? Your picture on the interwebz holding a girl's purse. GOTEM.

Needless to say, lunch didn’t hit the spot for me.  I wanted a fun dinner so we decided to do breakfast.  Feeling the sudden urge to go green, I stopped by Tom Thumb on the way home and picked up some tomatillos, green pepper and celery.  Whipped up some tomatillo salsa by boiling the tomatillos for five minutes then throwing their crazy ass in the Vitamix with some agave nectar and Sriracha sauce.  Chopped up the green pepper and threw it in with the huevos.  Celery was used for bumps on a log minus the bumps.  Then of course we had to have our dose of Kodiak pancakes.

A do the crunchy crunch

A do the crunchy crunch

Tomatillo salsa blendage.  Rockage your faceage.

Tomatillo salsa blendage. Rockage your faceage.

In a perfect world, this egg mixture would have set and I would have flipped it over to form the perfect omelette.

In a perfect world, this egg mixture would have set and I would have flipped it over to form the perfect omelette.

But alas we had to settle for scrambled eggs b/c I tarded.  Had a side of orange stolen from work (Hi boss!), celery with maple peanut butter and pancakes with agave nectar.  Got my drank on with a green tea latte with almond milk.  HI-YAH.

But alas we had to settle for scrambled eggs b/c I tarded. Had a side of orange stolen from work (Hi boss!), celery with maple peanut butter and pancakes with agave nectar. Got my drank on with a green tea latte with almond milk. HI-YAH.

Slappy cakes.  Pancakes so good you slap yo mama.

Kodiak cakes. Whole wheat pancakes so good you slap yo mama.

Never one to leave a store with only the items I need, I kind of fell for a couple impulse buys.  I haven’t tried Amy’s pizza but their frozen meals are heaven as far as microwave dinners go.  I especially like their Indian meals and they use mostly organic ingredients.

$3.50 for an organiz pizza from Amy's.  OMG BRB!

$3.50 for an organiz pizza from Amy's. OMG BRB!

Dessert dilemma

Dessert dilemma

Yeah I already had pancakes but I’m a professional eater and I still wanted something after our huge intense post emotional breakup workout.  My options?  Skinny cow ice cream sandwich or a honeycrisp apple.  I’m tempted to leave you hanging and not tell you what I picked until tomorrow but I can’t do that to my loyal readers.  All two of you.  I picked the apple.  LOUD APPLAUSE!  I might have the ice cream sandwich for breakfast though.

2:45am!  Getting awfully close to my bedtime!  We didn’t watch the 2 hr Jersey Shore special tonight (DO NOT tell me what happened to Snickers) so I can’t wait to get home tomorrow and have a watch party.  Also have to take down all the Christmas decorations.  Boo 🙁  Enzo peed all over our light up Christmas displays so I have to hurry up and put those on Craigslist too.  Kbye!

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Serene January 15, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Your dinner looks great! I’m inspired. My life has changed since you recommended the Honeycrisp apple to me.

Reply

Janice January 15, 2010 at 4:13 pm

I have to admit I was slightly anxious when I had to wait for tomorrow to see which dessert option you picked! But booo on you for missing Jersey Shore!! Who are you?!?!?

Reply

stranger January 15, 2010 at 9:45 pm

I can’t wait to try that peanut butter!

Reply

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