I Am a Fast Food Victim and I Want to Press Charges

by sara on July 16, 2010

I’ll get to the criminal activity later but I need to alert all Foodgarbl readers (Up to 4 now!  Thanks mom!) to my latest obsession: LOX.  I stopped at Einstein Bagels on my way to work this morning because anything that prevents me from getting to work early makes me happy.  I didn’t want the usual sugary bagel with cream cheese or those retarded poppers so I decided to surprise the ol’ boyfriend and myself with a whole wheat bagel with lox, capers and plain cream cheese.  SHUT UP it was good.  I dropped the surprise off at boyfriend’s place of work and received the following email: “Thank you for my breakfast surprise!! that was ferking bamf and perfect timing because I was out of cereal this morning. You are best girlfriend ever :)”  So sweet.  Here’s the iphone shot in between freezing up and apps crashing:

Got It on Lox Down

Let’s get to lunch.  Great American Hero.  Lamegarbl.  Let’s get to post work run.  5 mile hilly route.  It’s hotter than Keanu Reeves on a motorcycle outside but I felt great thanks to the great mix of my favorite rap songs going.  It’s hard to stay so fresh, like I do.  Since I waited for it to cool down a bit, I didn’t get home from my run until 9pm.  And we had a minor problem with clean dishes:

I'm in dishwasher timeout 🙁

We bought a huge bottle of dishwashing soap at Costco but it was not for the dishwasher.  I didn’t put it in the cart but I did put it in the dishwasher so I took the blame.  But back to dinner.  The food options around here for late night are bleak so we ended up going to…Raising Cane’s.

Well, so much for my run.  My organs are failing, my heart is clogged and I might need to use my foam roller to soothe my cankles.  If you know me at all you know I hate fast food.  I don’t eat it.  Ever.  The smell makes me cringe.  The sight of the food makes me question my contacts prescription.  Raising Cane’s has a feel good story about the owner having an idea for a chicken finger chain that got shot down in his college class.  He ended up saving up enough money to open the first location and it became a hit.  I don’t know why.  I wish people would realize this food is the reason why we are lagging behind every other country with the exception of eating contests.  Bad example.  Kobayashi for President.  Here’s the slop:

The ketchup comes from tomatoes which are a fruit which are healthy.

I will not be back.  I miss my vegetables.  I just want a healthy fast food chain to open.  Is that too much to ask?  Do I have to do it myself?  Fine.  Any investors out there?

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

jason July 16, 2010 at 12:36 am

POTATOES ARE VEGITABLE! YOU ARE DUM

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Ice July 16, 2010 at 3:29 pm

That lox was gooooooood!!! Imma tell you to SHUUUUT UUPPPPPPP with those capers! You need to eat more fast food so you become immune to it. Maybe the fries were made out of organic potatoes?

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