Needed: Refund and a Toofbrush to get this Nasty Taste out my Mouf

by sara on July 16, 2010

Today the lunch crew called for Chuy’s.  Instead of stuffing myself silly with chips, I took evasive action and ditched the crew in order to try a new joint in Snider Plaza, Dive Dallas: Coastal Cuisine.

It's a Dive alright.

The website looked so promising.  The decor on the inside looked so promising.

West Elm Show Room

The overly excited and bubbly girl that took my order even seemed promising.

Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking! Just a moment!

Really up until I tasted the food did I realize that I just wasted $17.86 on one of the worst meals I’ve had in a long time.  Including my own cooking.  I went for the ahi tuna wrap, white bean hummus and an Oogave grapefruit drink.

Floating cucumbers are the new parsley.

Pureed garlic, aka white bean hummus

Pile of crack. Ers.

The hummus was about 80% garlic and 20% parsley garnish.  I wanna know where da white beans at!  The only good part of the meal was that the hummus was served with pita slices AND cracker pieces.  In case you don’t want toast.  Just wish I had something delicious to dip them in (hummus FAIL).

If you can't stomach the look of it you prolly can't stomach the taste of it.

The wrap came with a dipping sauce(?) that had a cucumber slice in it (on purpose?) and smelled like the alley behind the fish sauce factory.  The tuna was overcooked and brown and the wrap altogether tasted like grandma accidentally used leftover tuna in the meatloaf wraps.

It's okay I wasn't hungry and money's not important during a recession anyways.

Ooooh! Gave! Fancy bottle of nuttin.

My Oogave drink promised me delicious nutrients in the form of purified carbonated water, organic agave nectar, grapefruit extract, citric acid and natural flavors.  The ingredient list did not include “tasty.”  Even with agave nectar as the sugar component it was too sweet for my liking.  I’ll take a fake aspartame Fresca anyday.

Despite my gross lunch, my day was AMAZING.  Wanna know why?  Ferkin lazycake that’s why.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

jason July 16, 2010 at 7:03 pm

Thanks for bringing me home some vomit hummus? on the plus side I think we are safe from vampires for at least a week.

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Serene July 17, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Lazy Cake to the rescue! FTW! HSF!

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Ice July 19, 2010 at 10:45 am

That ahi tuna don’t look right. I like how the hummus is placed above “Using the Recycle Bin” on your book. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR DITCHING LUNCH CREW! NEVER AGAIN!!!

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