I Want to Turn 90

by sara on February 20, 2011

My grandmother’s official birthday isn’t even until tomorrow but we’ve been partying ever since we got up here.  Yesterday we threw her a birthday party at her church with an assortment of friends and family.  Before we went church clubbing though we had to get our gym on.  I cranked out 5 miles on the treadmill followed by 11 miles on the bike while my dad did his walk routine while listening to the soundtrack to Sweet November. 

After sweatin to the oldies we headed over to the church for the most epic old people party ever.  Since it’s hard to digest anything besides cake and fruit after you hit 75, that’s exactly what was on the menu.

Not too shabby for an $80 grocery store cake.  I didn’t have any but I heard it was delicious from at least two trusted sources.

I from France we kick cheese you like party?

We are Siamese if you please.  These are my cousins.  They are adorable and if you want to be like them then you should go to Texas State and/or wear Buffalo jeans.

This is my grandmother, the birthday girl.  She is adorable also.  If you want to be like her, impossible, you can’t be like her.

I LOVE old people.  I talked to this lady about line dancing and something else I can’t remember but it doesn’t matter because you can actually nod off while talking to them and they don’t even notice because they nod off toos!  It’s like “inception” only different because you don’t have to spin a top.

I also love old people because when they stick their tongue out at you it’s adorable and they also have the most unique leopard print tapestry jackets.

I also love old people because they tell jokes.  This guy was telling my grandmother a joke when I walked up to them but I interrupted for a picture and then he forgot what joke he was telling.  Sarree.

I also love old people because they find nothing wrong with wearing a purse necklace.

I don’t like young people because they take lame pictures.  Good thing I’m turning 30 on Friday and then I’ll be cool.  Deaf and feeble, but cool.

I love old people because they don’t understand how to high five.

I love Asian immigrants because they don’t go to the bathroom.  They go to the water closet.

Okay I kinda like young people because if you ask them to do a jumping picture they don’t give you an excuse about needing a walker.

My grams was overwhelmed by the huge crowd turnout to celebrate her big day(s).  The party was only beginning, however, because next stop was Maggiano’s for family dinner!

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Asian Immigrant February 21, 2011 at 11:17 am

Where is for wata croset?

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Tonnish Scum February 22, 2011 at 2:20 am

I would also like to mention the kid that puked on his plate of birthday cake instead of going to the water closet where most Asian kids prefer to puke. Classic. I love Wayne’s kid. He is like Einstein, if Einstein liked dinosaurs and drank juice ’til he puked.

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sara February 23, 2011 at 12:16 pm

TOO MUCH JUICE!

Reply

Angela Nickerson February 22, 2011 at 1:01 pm

One word: Awesome! Also: why aren’t I on your Blog Roll??

Reply

sara February 23, 2011 at 12:16 pm

you’re on it now! how dumb of me to not have you on there.

Reply

Curves Staff February 23, 2011 at 12:13 am

Looks like someone needs to apply to CURVES!!

Reply

sara February 23, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Are they hiring?! I want to teach a spin class and play rap really loud!

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