Get Fitted with A Cup (of soup) at Justine’s BRAsserie

by sara on August 15, 2011

If my first garbl of overeating didn’t encourage you to go to Austin, allow this garbl to convince you.  One of the best meals I’ve had in Austin, ever, was at Justine’s Brasserie recently.  Though it is located in a sketchier part of Austin on East 5th, you wouldn’t know it by the hipster clientele or the very welcoming lightbulb strung courtyard.

We had to wait about 15 minutes for a table even though we waited patiently across from empty tables the entire time.  I think they were just trying to position us in the corner because Jason was wearing his Hugasaurus Rex shirt.  See the guy in the pink shirt in the picture below?  We ended up sitting at the table next to him and his date.  His white iphone went off the ENTIRE (#$)@# MEAL.  That is, until we had enough and my brother said, “excuse me are you going to answer that?  Because my friend Jason here in the Hugasaurus Rex shirt is on call and we keep thinking that a critical network circuit is down.”  Then he went into some tirade about how he was a lobbyist and these $(#*)@$# Republicans keep calling him and they’re not gonna get what they want if he has anything to say about it.  He certainly wasn’t saying anything about it.  Also, he was on a date.  Granted, she looked like his mom but still.

A fliptard lobbyist wasn’t going to ruin our meal.  Huggy Rex ordered the French onion soup.  When in Rome…or wait…when in Austin…wear a thong.  What?  I’m hungry.  This soup was retarded.  Retarded good, that is.  Best ever.

Tonnish ordered the asparagus soup which was ridiculous.  Ridiculously awesome that is.

I’ve never had mussels before.  I KNOW!  So drunk!  Sarree.  But I saw them on the menu and I went all out.  HOLY CHOPSTICK MOTHER OF PEARL WAFFLE IRON WHAT HAVE I BEEN ORDERING ALL OF MY LIFE?!?!  The broth had more flavor than a VH1 rapper dating show.  It was seriously one of the top 5 meals I’ve ever had in my life.  Maybe I should get out more but seriously this was so good.

Huggy Rex was still licking the French Onion soup bowl when they brought out his heart shaped steak frites.  It’s that extra touch of forming the steak into a heart that makes Justine’s so special.  H-Rex raved about his steak and said it’s probably the best he’s ever had.  Coming from an Oklahoma boy who grew up chasing cattle cattle cattle and skinning buffalo to stay warm in the winter, what are we talking about?

Our travel guide T-Hum opted for the pork chop.  It’s a good thing that pork chop was so good.  My brother has been known to regurgitate on command and the iphone lobbyist could have had his night ruined but the pork chop was too good to waste.  Justine’s is a hidden French gem and is the perfect place to go off the beaten path in Austin.  The wait staff was friendly, the glasses remained full, the food was amazing and the ambience was caj.  As if that wasn’t enough, they post the negative reviews on their website as a threat  – just try not to come here and enjoy it.

The next day we went to Kerby Lane Cafe and the food was not eventful but the two UT football players sharing a bench were adorable.

After Kerby Lane Cafe, we drove around town looking for Krap Kars.  FOUND ‘EM!  $5?  That’s pretty high for a krap kar.  No wonder Huggy Rex was all “WHY?!”

Never to go more than 15 minutes w/o something to eat, we hightailed it over to Holy Cacao for a frozen hot chocolate.  SO FLIPPIN GOOD.

Holy CacAEO is located in the South Austin Trailer Park & Eatery alongside Torchy’s Tacos.  It’s pretty much a one stop shop for all of your high caloric needs.

Even trailer parks are trendy in Austin.  You won’t even find white trash there.  Well, maybe a little but they mostly recycle.

Oh South Austin Trailer Park, you so fancy.

Austin, TX is Woof Friendly just about everywhere, including the trailer park.  Paws up dawg!  This concludes our trip to the coolest city in Texas (sorry Marfa).  We’ll see you soon!  Next weekend?  Seriously, we’re free.  Pleez?  Kthksbye.

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Ice August 17, 2011 at 11:48 am

I can’t believe you’ve never has mussels. Was that food ridonk expensive? Looks yum!

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