Oh K Can you C (OKC Zoo)

by sara on June 24, 2012

First of all, let me say one thing.  Don’t do meth.  It will meth you up.  Which brings me to my next topic – our trip to the OKC Zoo!  I am an animal lover through and through but you do not go to the OKC Zoo for the animals.  You go for the leg tattoos.

The animals were cool too I guess.  Actually the gorillas were awesome b/c they’d be sitting there picking their butt and then all of a sudden they would do a major tardout and start chasing each other while pounding their chests.  It reminded me of what we used to do on the playground at daycare.

Here is the rare saggy-boobed silver-back species.

For some reason the kids stopped eating their cotton candy.

The little girl chimp below, Siri, was a rock star.  She lost her arm as a baby in an accident with another chimp but she was dominating the ropes course and is most likely the next American Ninja Warrior.

Oh look, teamwork!  We don’t have that at the company I work for so it’s kind of neat to see how it works in real life.

Oh hey honey badger, you don’t look like you give a S about anything.

What honey badger doesn’t understand, though, is that TURTLES REALLY DON’T GIVE A S.  It’s cool, we’ll just share our habitat with a frickin snake.  You just enjoy your solitary dirt enclosure while we KEEP EACH OTHERS SCALES WARM.

I bet you’ve never seen a bald eagle up close.  Better yet, I bet you’ve never seen a GANGSTA bald eagle.  Been hit with a few shells, now I walk with a limp but I’m aight.

I’m going to make an ass out of you and me and say this is the one that was shot.  Because I like to keep it real.

Going to the zoo is for the birds!  Jason’s mom loves birds but they cause me great panic.  Every bird enclosure felt like a trap where you had to go through two sets of doors and only open one at a time to make sure none escaped.  I was 99% positive I was either going to get pooped on or accidentally let a bird out and get arrested and thrown in with the turtles and snakes to await my punishment.

It’s weird that I don’t like birds more because we share many similar characteristics…

Albino peacocks are the new black.

Here is what they normally look like.  Looks just like me when I wake up in the morning.  Or that year when I teased my hair for an hour and went as a chia pet for Halloween.

Mr. Albino Peacock, you look super hongry.  Here, have a Cheez-it but if it turns your beak orange and people stop taking pictures don’t blame me.

It’s too bad we can’t all get along without eating each other.  Because I would totally take a Grizzy Bear friend to a Skrillex concert and then maybe out for a snow cone if he would just sit still and stop trying to maul me.

I also wish wild animals had money.  Because I would totes sell them bug zappers and make a killing.  Literally.

I understand the hippo’s pain here.  He probably hates his job of being on display all day and got a bad review for his bad attitude of not posing for pictures and really all he wants to do is stay at home and work out and read food blogs.  Huh?

We probably saw hundreds of species that day (counting toothless inbreds) but nothing could hold a candle to our two Oklahoma native ghost-eyed Vizsla Spazzes.

PS – Since this is a food blog, let me just tell you that the zoo food was terrible.
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Ice June 26, 2012 at 10:37 am

Great zoo pics! I felt like I was there! I thought it was gonna be all leg tats but I was pleasantly surprised. That bear is fadorable! Saggy nips FTW!

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