Disney World: Where a Kid Can Be a Kid and I Would Do Drugs if I Worked There

by sara on July 7, 2012

When in Orlando, you’re supposed to go to Disney World.   I didn’t watch Disney movies growing up so I don’t understand all the hullabaloo.  My brother and I watched Beetlejuice while eating oatmeal nearly every morning from ages 7-12.  Okay to be honest, some mornings we prank called the Robert Tilton prayer line.  Don’t worry, my Dad dialed.

Here’s where it gets weird.  People were there on their honeymoon!  SAY WHAAAAA?!  Is that a thing that you do?  Because I’ont want that.

So romantic!

If you’re gonna be a drunk bride at Disney World at least pull your skirt down.

As you can see I’m super stoked about going to Space Mountain and waiting 2 hours to ride something that looked/felt like it was built in the ’80’s!

Poor little Mini Cinderella was on a puppy leash.  I actually bought one for Jason too.

Look closely.  Those are Mickey shaped holes in the Crocs.  This person was my age.  I’m just getting worried about society, that’s all.

We were about to go in the Haunted Mansion so I put on my I’m so scared face!  It also looks like my Space Mountain face and my oops I just ate too many yogurt pretzels Jason is going to know I opened the package face.

Everyone in front of us took pictures with these statues while singing some song.  I didn’t know the song so I was sad pants.

I make a mil off my beats.

It’s hard to tell from the pics but it was hot as bath salts that day.  Let me tell you how excited I was to cram on a raft with 20 other sweaty tourists and take the 2 minute trek over to Tom Sawyer Island where there is no air conditioning and you have to wait for the smelly raft to come back and get you.  The park might be magical but it doesn’t mask B.O.

Raft trips wear me out.  Also, please check out my sweet leg tan.

Hey turdlet, I’m trying to be Jackie Sparrow get outta the picture!

I agree, I look much better as Dumbo.

Damn Coolio!  Gangsta’s Paradise ain’t easy on a brotha!

I was also getting super duper cranky from the heat and lack of snow cones.  Good thing we were in line for an Icee.

Disney World was not my cup of tea.  I imagine if I had kids it would have been a lot more fun because kids think everything is awesome but I’m cheap and don’t want to spend $40 on a dumbo hat so I hope my kids like staying at home and watching Beetlejuice toos.  To sum up my story, work is stupid.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

jason July 7, 2012 at 1:25 am

I only go to amusement parks for the fatties

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Ice July 11, 2012 at 1:14 pm

You look like a candy cane! Can you eat a burger or 3?

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