Making Faces in the Mirror Can Save Your Life

by sara on August 19, 2012

This is how it all started.  It was a typical Saturday night and  I was making faces in the mirror before going out on the town.  Except this time I noticed a bump on my tongue.  Granted, I had been eating a bunch of sour patch kids but this was no normal sugar bump.  I pressed down on it and it actually felt like a pebble was inside my tongue.  Rah roh.

Most of my Google results said to wait and see if it goes away.  I got panicky though and went in to see my dentist.  He then referred me to an oral surgeon the same day.  The oral surgeon said it could be a blocked duct and to wait at least a week or two to see if it goes away on its own.  But Google already told me that and didn’t charge me $140 🙁  If it did not go away, it could be a salivary gland tumor or a granular cell tumor.  We were already planning on going up to Illinois to see my family so it was the perfect chance to get out of town and try not to worry about the marble I must have swallowed.  Plus it gave me the chance to practice my Arnold impression of “IT’S NOT A TUMA!  STOP IT!”

Unfortunately, after two weeks, the bump was actually bigger.  I made an appointment with the oral surgeon for the day we got back into town to have a biopsy done.  He was only going to take a chunk out for testing but once he opened up my tongue he said it was easier to just take out the whole thing at once.  I actually have high res images of the tongue surgery as well as the tumor but I’ll save you from pukegarbling and instead just show you the pic I took with my iphone.  There it is in the clear bottle about to be sent off to the pathologist.

My dad was nice enough to drive me to my appointment so I went back over to my parent’s house after the surgery to lay down for awhile.  They had to jab me about 7 or 8 times with Novocain to numb my tongue so when that finally wore off I was a hurtin puppy.  I hadn’t seen Jason (or the puppies) for two weeks since I was out of town and I was so excited to see him but I hurt so bad so it was like YAY OMG HUGS OW MY FACE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU OMG OW IT HURTS TO SMILE YAY LET’S GO GET DINNER SORRY ALL I CAN HAVE IS A SMOOTHIE 🙁

Here is the puppy reunion and if you listen closely you can hear my high pitch squeals b/c I’m so happy to see them but it was hard to squeal through a clinched jaw.

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My most handsome awesome amazingest fiancegarbl dropped everything and got me a hugemongous protein smoothie for dinner.

As if that wasn’t sweet enough, he then took me home to lay down and went back out for a grocery run to get me a bunch of soft foods to eat the next few days.  I’m telling you he is 1000% perfect.  If my mouth didn’t hurt so effin bad, I’d be in heaven b/c he brought me mousse, flan, rice pudding, tapioca, odwalla protein shakes, coconut milk, greek yogurt and ice cream.  And all of that is DOCTOR’S ORDERS!

Ever since I got home Enzo and Riley have been glued to my legs.  We take naps together and when I moan around in pain they go hide in the closet until I’ve taken my pain pill then they come back to snuggle.  It’s cute.

Laying in bed all day drinking smoothies and not being able to talk is mega boring.  I tried to mumble skype but nobody wanted to 🙁

Here is the current state of my tongue (and I promise I will wash the gray shirt).  As you can see it is mega swolled.  I’m craving every food I can’t have right now so I really need my body to cooperate and get better this week so I can get back to my overeating and running schedule.  I have my one week follow-up on Thursday where I will see if I’m healing properly and  get the results from the pathologist.  Hoping for good news all around!

PS – Today I made Jason go get donuts so I could smell them.  It actually helped with the craving just to look at it.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Ice August 21, 2012 at 9:24 am

Holy shite that’s worse than I thought it was gonna be! BLEH! Hope you’re feeling better! EEEEK! Pukegarble indeed! POST THE PIC! Was there a fire alarm going off in that video?


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