Today the lunch crew called for Chuy’s.  Instead of stuffing myself silly with chips, I took evasive action and ditched the crew in order to try a new joint in Snider Plaza, Dive Dallas: Coastal Cuisine.

It's a Dive alright.

The website looked so promising.  The decor on the inside looked so promising.

West Elm Show Room

The overly excited and bubbly girl that took my order even seemed promising.

Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking! Just a moment!

Really up until I tasted the food did I realize that I just wasted $17.86 on one of the worst meals I’ve had in a long time.  Including my own cooking.  I went for the ahi tuna wrap, white bean hummus and an Oogave grapefruit drink.

Floating cucumbers are the new parsley.

Pureed garlic, aka white bean hummus

Pile of crack. Ers.

The hummus was about 80% garlic and 20% parsley garnish.  I wanna know where da white beans at!  The only good part of the meal was that the hummus was served with pita slices AND cracker pieces.  In case you don’t want toast.  Just wish I had something delicious to dip them in (hummus FAIL).

If you can't stomach the look of it you prolly can't stomach the taste of it.

The wrap came with a dipping sauce(?) that had a cucumber slice in it (on purpose?) and smelled like the alley behind the fish sauce factory.  The tuna was overcooked and brown and the wrap altogether tasted like grandma accidentally used leftover tuna in the meatloaf wraps.

It's okay I wasn't hungry and money's not important during a recession anyways.

Ooooh! Gave! Fancy bottle of nuttin.

My Oogave drink promised me delicious nutrients in the form of purified carbonated water, organic agave nectar, grapefruit extract, citric acid and natural flavors.  The ingredient list did not include “tasty.”  Even with agave nectar as the sugar component it was too sweet for my liking.  I’ll take a fake aspartame Fresca anyday.

Despite my gross lunch, my day was AMAZING.  Wanna know why?  Ferkin lazycake that’s why.

Some weekends you crave Asian food and you’ll ride 4 laps around White Rock just to get it.  That’s precisely what we did last weekend.  Saturday we had a hankering for some Korean Seoul food so we went with my dad to Seoul Garden off of Royal/Stemmons.

Garden of Eatin. AEO!

J Man's first Korean experience! He is super excite.

I’m really embarrassed to say that I ordered the salmon teriyaki.  I panicked and in a moment of weakness I picked the first thing that I could pronounce.  Mega fail.  It would be like going to Mi Cocina and getting a burger.  Luckily, we started off with some yeehaw appetizers:

There was nothing sticky about these pots.

Korean pizza. Could have/should have eaten 12 of these. SO GOOD.

Jason ordered the bulgogi (Korean BBQ beef) and it was ferkin amazing:

Rocky and Bulgogi

My dad ordered squid surprise which was equally as baller:

Korean spaghetti and meatballs

All meals come with Korean sides Luby’s style.  Tofu and kimchi were the only things I recognized:

Yum! What is it?

Yum! What is it?

Hey tofu, I know you!

All together now!

The waitress was awesome and the food was awesome and I highly recommend it for Korean food rookies/fans.

On Sunday we wanted to hit up White Rock for a 40 miler.  However, we knew we couldn’t do it without a bahn mi thit for energy.  So we booked it over to Lee’s Sandwiches in Garland.  One of the best decisions of our lives.  Since we had the custom blinged out bikes with us, we had to go through the drive-thru.

Approaching the sandwich kingdom

omg the anticipation

one of each! no wait #4 and #8 and a smoothie. or one of each!

They have all kinds of sandwiches (check their menu) and all looked tempting but we opted to try the #8 shredded pork, #14 pork roll with pate and #18 cured pork with pate.  The sandwiches are only $2.99!!  And check out these beauties:

Cured pork stocked full of fresh veg. OMNOM.

Pork roll with fresh cilantro, jalapenos, carrots, etc.

Washed down with an iced coffee and a honey chrysanthemum iced tea:

Iced coffee nicely paired with pork roll.

Needed more chrysanthemum flava but refreshing nonetheless.

They threw in a free loaf of French bread too!  Probably because it was a day old but still!

I like things that are free.

And they label their sandwiches!

No, that's Susie's. She had the cha lua pate.

And they have rides out front!

I'm almost 30!

Three sandwiches and two specialty drinks for $14.52.  Not too shabby in my book.  We’ll definitely be back and next time we might have a french bread fencing lesson in the parking lot.

To the lake!  It was windier than Keanu Reeves in a wind storm on Sunday so the ride was more difficult than planned.  However, I did get some free advice!

Seriously, I didn't have to pay a dime.

For the past 15 years two gentlemen dish out free advice to anyone who wants it every Sunday.  We made a stop on our bikes to take advantage of this surprising service and the guy told me to get a life.  I said you ugly anyway.  Totally joking!  They were extremely nice guys and we talked about morals, movies and my career path.  Two police officers and another young rider joined us in our nearly 20 minute discussion.  Roderick, the main advice giver, even loaned us a movie – Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.  I know what you’re thinking – random dudes giving out free advice, bottled water and DVD’s?  Awkward!  But these guys will listen to anything you have to say and ask you questions in return until you come up with your own conclusion.  They were tricky like that.  So next week I’m opening up a restaurant in a silo!  Free advice = genius.

We managed to squeak out 4.5 laps around the lake for a total of 42 miles.  We also drank nearly 3 gallons of water but kind of forgot to replenish our calorie stock so we cramped up real bad like.  Luckily we packed some pb&j sammies which took care of the problem.  Our 65 mile ride is coming up in a few weeks so we’re trying to get our mileage up and learn when to snack and how much to snack to keep our bodies happy.  I hope they have Vietnamese sandwiches at the rest stops in Wimberley!

Well, I really didn’t think it could happen but the interstate pants gang has struck again.  My grandmother suffers from dementia and is convinced that there is a gang of people that sneaks into her room at night when she’s sleeping and steals her pants.  They don’t steal her flat screen tv or her fresh pair of kicks, they’re in it for the pants.  You know the kind:

Sought After Pants

The closest I’ve been to a memory related illness before this was reading The Notebook.  Dementia is sad business.  We have to find a little humor in it otherwise it would be completely miserable and depressing with every visit.  We had a good visit tonight despite the fact that we had to narrow down exactly what size the pants gang was after.

Yesterday was an epic fail if you look at it from the standpoint of getting a jump on the day.  We didn’t exactly make it to the lake by 7am as planned.  However, we ran a bunch of errands, hit up a late lunch at Baker Bros with a coupon (two huge salads for only $7!) and then headed to White Rock around 7pm for a night ride.  It was my first time to wear the diaper shorts:

Shake it fast but watch yourself.

Not recommended for loungewear.

Believe it or not, I couldn’t even tell how obnoxious they were once we started riding.  And I do think they help when you’re on the bike for hours at a time.  We made it around the lake 3 times in 2 hours for a little over 27 miles.  We wanted to get another hour of riding in but it was getting really dark and we were getting pelted by bugs every few seconds.  We straight up dominated the ride though.  It was my first time to use the shoes that clip into the pedals and it was like my feet were on crack.  I can go so much faster!  The first time we stopped for a water break I forgot about my shoes being clipped in and just as I was about to fall over Jason yelled “SHOES!” so I unclipped at the last minute saving my pretty mug from a disastrous face plant.

I wore gloves in honor of Michael Jackson. And his son Blanket.

Did I mention that I did a Jillian Michael’s No More Trouble Zones before I went on the bike ride yesterday?  Yeah, my body is mad at me right now.  I am every bit as sore today as I was after the half marathon but I’m so glad I’ve found a new challenging way to exercise.

Today was pretty uneventful in the way of food.  We had Great American Hero for lunch (#7 turkey with avocado on wheat, add lettuce oil and vinegar).  They have a ginormous menu, a super friendly staff and a dang good sandwich.

Forgot to take a pic of my sandwich. Sowwy.

Dinner was a veggie burger and some guacamole made by the house chef.  I don’t pay him or anything but sometimes I do his laundry without shrinking anything so it’s a fair trade.

Forgot to take a picture of the guacamole. Sowwy.

Tomorrow is going to be awesome.  Know why?  Because I get my intro to Sharepoint book from Amazon!!!  Sometimes your life is just clicking on all cylinders, you know?

Like the gates of heaven

  Torchy’s Tacos
5921 Forest Lane
Dallas, TX 75230

IT’S HERE!  Ho-lee Taco of the Month am I excited.  Not only has Torchy’s Damn Good Tacos come to Dallas, it is just as good as Austin.  For all you rookies out there, these are not your grandmother’s tacos.  Unless your grandmother has a garden of habaneros, swims with sharks and lives in a trailer.   

I'm so busy om nom noming I don't see you taking my picture.

 Torchy’s decor is typical of what you would find in an Austin eatery. A wall made out of metal people? Yes, duh. And I heard a rumor they are giving Torchy’s a romantic upgrade by adding a few chandeliers in the coming days. Nothing like a Carribbean jerk chicken taco under the dim light of a chandelier to show someone you love them. Torchy’s took over the space formerly occupied by Fish Express across from Paciugo. They kept the open order counter/drink service look and gave the Little Mermaid paint job a Gothic makeover.  It feels very homey in a Homie the Clown kind of way.  

Hi. I'd like one of each and whatever he's having.

 The management running the new Dallas Torchy’s is spot on.  Everyone from the owner to the bus boy asked us if everything was okay and it felt truly genuine.  This is a place where you want to hang out and make taco friends.  A taco gang, if you will.  But instead of fighting with the gelato gang across the street, we can be cool friends and share recipes. 

Workin on my Kim Kardashian bootay.

 The queso is exquisite.  It has a unique green chili flavor and is best paired with a 2010 carbonated Diet Coke and a splash of Root Beer.  Follow this queso with two of the greatest tacos en el mundo.  I won’t tell you which two because that’s for you to decide.  Hippie.    

Even the cups are badass!

The Democrat and the Trailer Park. Try them you trashy left winger.

Damn BP and the Brushfire. Fed these tacos every hour, I think I could single handedly stop the oil spill in the Gulf.

Soda fountain! It's no slurpee machine but they have 3 flavors with real cane sugar! That's like drinking pixie sticks!

Pixie stick flavors: Root beer, Black cherry, Creme soda. What better to wash down mango habanero salsa with?

So, Dallas Foodgarbl fans, when you can go to Torchy’s for $3-$5 gourmet tacos, there really is no more excuse to stay at your sh*tty job because you “can’t afford to leave.”  You can afford it.  Because Torchy’s wants you to be happy.  So quit today, go get some cheap tacos, say “you’re welcome” to your tastebuds, then move to Austin where it all began and start wearing a thong.

Tillman’s Roadhouse
324 West 7th Street
Dallas, TX 75208-4639

I’ve really wanted to try Bolsa so we tried to sneak in last weekend on Saturday night.  Dumber than a brick.  Hour and a half wait at 8:45pm.  It might have been a good thing because we were the only people not wearing a beret, sweater vest or yellow headband.  Note for return visit: dress like you just won hippie prom queen.  Since we were starving and didn’t want to wait, we high tailed it over to Tillman’s Roadhouse where they surprisingly got us right in.  We were offered the prime window seat on the patio but had to kindly ask the table next to us to get up so we could squeeze in.

They made a couple jokes about us owing them drinks and how we were going to be a problem and blah blah blah so we sat down and immediately started talking about Stranger Danger.  Not a minute passed before a dude that I swear was Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite popped up at the window next to us and asked if we could spare some change.  We got really nervous and struggled for words.  To our relief, Pedro was our waiter and said he was just kidding.  Bishop Arts District is full of jokesters!  LOL!  He was really nice even though we couldn’t understand him half the time.  He brought us peanuts and seasoned popcorn to start (free!  but not really once you see your bill).

The peeps we were with got a couple drinks to start.  $11 drinks mind you.  I have a question.  When did drinks hit double digits?  In my opinion, that’s a no.  THANKS RICK PERRY.

I was told the drinks were good but were definitely not worth their pricetag.  One was called Sassy Sara though so I’ll give them props for knowing a classy name when they see one.  Our main entrees were phenomenal.  I had the Airline Chicken with bacon collard greens and some sort of cornbread stuffing.  The chicken was some of the best I’ve ever had and the sides were delicious.  Sorry for the fuzzy pic:

The hickory smoked ribs with white cheddar mac and cheese was also off the hizzie:

Before we even get to the negatives about Tillman’s I’m going to tell you that it ain’t cheap.  Take a look at their online menu and you can decipher for yourself.  However, I highly recommend it for a date night or a place to take clients on the ol’ expense account.  Expense accounts = the reason for America’s trillion dollar debt.  You’re welcome!

Everyone who has been to Tillman’s raves about their homemade s’mores.  Naturally, we saved room in our dessert compartments to order some.  We order up and Pedro says, “Sorry they weren’t up to standards today.”  We assumed he was joking around with us again so we politely laughed and said “No, seriously bring us the F’ing s’mores.”  Pedro maintained gameface and said, “I’m sorry.  There was something with the marshmallows and they weren’t up to standards so we are not serving them tonight.”  What.  The.  Frock.  I’m not gonna lie, the s’mores are what made me want to try Tillman’s.  I didn’t really care about the chicken or ribs because I can get chicken at Mama’s Chicken and Waffles and I can get ribs at McDonalds (or did they take those away?  I was lying anyways, I really don’t eat much meat anymore).  So Pedro offered another “signature dessert” in the form of fresh baked cookies with ice cream and chocolate drizzle.  We were already dessert minded so we went along with it (Vote For Pedro).  Beeeg mistake.

Diabeeeetus on a plate

Makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it.  I think this dessert came from a Paula Deen cookbook and sugar was used instead of butter.  It was SO rich and SO sugary that we were sick the rest of the weekend after sharing it.  Though the end of the meal was unpleasant, Pedro was great and the main course was delicious.   I just wish I had shared that dessert with 23 other people.

Hacienda on Henderson
2326 North Henderson Avenue
Dallas, TX 75206-7024

Hacienda on Henderson, spanish for "Little house with BAMF patio"

They're open til 2am! I like their rice!

Hacienda on Henderson has gotten a bad rap.  Do them a favor and don’t google their reviews.  Just read Foodgarbl, the obvious choice in food critiquing.  We went here a couple weeks ago for lunch and the patio was perfect for one of our signature life discussions.  You know, where you sit around a table and everyone gets their iPhone out and doesn’t talk to each other?  You’d think we were antisocial but in those moments of silence, 72 point words are played, angry birds are slung at pigs, facebook statuses are updated and grocery lists are made.  Even though the main purpose of lunch is to get outta Dodge, we’re still hungry so we do indeed look forward to the food.  Bring on the white queso:

Queso Blanco. Healthy because it has tomatoes on top.

As a Texan, chips and salsa is as essential to my body as oxygen.

Chuy's salsa wannabe

My first bite of the queso was nothing memorable.  But after dipping my 12th chip I was like, “oh damn.”  Each additional bite added Flava Flav.  The salsa was good, definitely used fresh ingredients.  It was just nothing out of the ordinary, though.  It was watery like Chuy’s salsa with chunks of fresh tomatoes, onion and cilantro.  Could have had two bowls without a glass of water.  For the main entree I went with the grilled fish tacos.  SHOW THEM:

These were fantastic.  The fish was seasoned nicely and had fresh slaw on top.  The rice had grilled corn mixed in and was a pile of buttery goodness.  As sacrilegious as this might sound, I wish some restaurants would offer other options besides beans and rice.  It’s just so 1990 now.  My friend asked for and received a side salad with her chicken tacos and she was very pleased with her substitution.

Salad substituted for beans and rice. You gonna getcho money's worth.

I know it’s easy to make a huge batch of rice and beans in the morning and serve it all day but how much harder would it be to grill up some corn or offer a mango jalapeno slaw?  We need healthy options!  So we can go back to the office and order Tiff’s Treats!  Here are the brisket tacos that were raved about:

Brisket rhymes with Triscuit.

And Slow Moh tagged along to conquer some dessert:

Sopa People

The best part of Hacienda on Henderson is not the food, however.  It is the kickin patio:

We will most def go back to HOH for the patio alone.  The food did not blow me away but it was better than I expected.  I wish Hacienda had a signature dish or something that would make them stand out.  As it is, they are just another Mexican restaurant in Dallas.  Unless you count infused tequila as a competitive advantage.  Remember oxygen bars?  Yeah. Neither do I.

Hi Laura Bush!

Rusty Taco
4802 Greenville Avenue
Dallas, TX 75206

Rockin patio and plenty of parking for BMW's

We hit up Rusty Taco today for lunch after hearing lots of press about their grand opening.  At the corner of Greenville and University (Hi Serene!) in the former Just Brakes location, this new taco joint is a magnet for SMU students, SMU alumni, parents of SMU students and friends of SMU students visiting from UT.  They just opened this week so they are still working out the kinks but there was already a line out the door.  The line went pretty quick and I ordered two grilled fish tacos and a breakfast taco (said they served breakfast tacos all day).  To my disappointment, they stopped serving breakfast tacos by lunchtime.  Said they were still trying to figure out the logistics on that.  And here I was taking IHOP for granted all these years.  Oh well, I added a brisket taco and drink, paid my $8 and sat down.  The layout of this place really is cool.  It’s about to get hotter than a Network Engineer from Oklahoma with the Texas summer heat around the corner so the open air format won’t last long, but for now it is perfect with the open windows and patio seating.  We sat inside, but technically we sat outside toos.

Network Engineer from Oklahoma aka Texas Hotness

Line Was Out Tha Doe! At $8 a pop that's pretty ballin. Why don't I open a taco stand?

They bring you your order. And if your name is Sara they sing to you.

Cerveza cooler. I want one of these to sit in after long runs.

Now, to the important part – la comida mexicana!!  Although that is misleading because to sum up Rusty Taco in two words, I’d have to say, “GRINGO TACOS.”  For $2 per taco it’s hard to complain but I’d be willing to pay a dollar more if the tacos had flavor.  These are not your neighbor’s to the south tacos.  The grilled fish taco and brisket taco were nothing memorable in my opinion.  They throw some red cabbage, cilantro and chipotle cream on there but the fish flavor was pretty pungent.  The beef was meh.  And yet I heard a girl next to me say “did you try the brisket taco?  It is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.”  She also had a margarita, just saying.  A few of my lunch whoa-di’s ordered the queso and salsa so we could garbl those as well.  The queso tasted like 90% Velveeta, 8% tomatoes and 2% Lost island polar bear clumps.  Rusty Taco queso is to Bob Armstrong dip as Mark Cuban is to the Situation.  Although Mark’s back on my good side for investing in South Dallas.  And because the Mavs PWNed the Spurs tonight.

You put the lime on the taco and you eat it all up.

Gringo tacos

Clumpy and Lumpy walked into a bar...

The salsa was a fan favorite. So was the Hugh Grant lookalike but you had to be there.

House made chips were ver tasty! How much!?! $3 for salsa or queso with chips. Recession proof.

Corner slot is no eight ball, it is a chicken bone.

The above picture shows a chicken bone found in my friend Serene’s taco.  Serene is well known throughout all of Dallas for her unbelievably amazing Lazy Cake and she knows quality like nobody’s binness.  (in Gilly voice from SNL…) Rustyyyyyyy?  Did you put a chicken bone in Serene’s chicken taco?!?!?!  Sorree.

Rusty Tacos is still a bit…well…rusty.  I think they need to fix a few things (breakfast tacos served all day, Nickelback removed from the Jukebox, chicken bone discount, google a new queso recipe) but they have a neat concept, a great location and cheap prices.  Those 3 things alone will keep Dallasites coming back for more…

UNTIL…TORCHY’S OPENS!  That’s right kids.  You heard it here first on Foodgarbl.  Torchy’s is coming to Dallas!  Sorry Rusty, but it’s about to get BROUGHTEN.

Torchy’s Tacos Torchy’s is hitting the big city! Torchy’s Dallas location is opening in about 75 days! Dallas folks are you ready??? We’re gonna rock your world…;)

Here are pics from my last adventure in Austin at Torchy’s:

I liken Torchy's to a Mexican Disneyworld of sorts, minus the characters. Unless the characters can be mango habanero salsa and avocado cilantro creme sauce.

Breakfast of Champions. Champions = those who eat 3 meals before dinner.

I'm drooling

You tell me that doesn't look good. Just try. Can't do it can you?

I was so excited about the Torchy’s news that I went for a run tonight to try to get to my goal weight before they open so I can afford to gain 15 lbs.  Give or take 10.  After the run we decided to do refrigerator/freezer cleanout so I made us some smoothies using frozen nanners, blueberries, raspberries, almond milk, Chobani strawberry yogurt, half a cucumber, some flax meal and almond butter.  It was one of my better smoothies.  Wasn’t sure about throwing a cucumber in there but the Vitamix works wonders and smoothies are a great way to save veggies that are nearing the end of their life cycle.  Jason took his shirt off, did 50 push-ups, roared like a lion, then grilled veggie burgers for us (hippie fail).  I threw a little goat cheese crumble on mine and it was delicious.  We use the Don Lee Farms Veggie Patties from Costco and they really rock my world.  Gonna do a quick workout video, race the dogs up and down the stairs 5 times, shower and play words with friends.  I’m even jealous of my own life.

Got home at late thirty again tonight but was wound up from staring at a computer all day so late night run it was.  We took the two crazed hyenas on about a 3 miler through a hilly neighborhood.  After a tough level 3 Jillian workout last night my thighs were en fuego going up the hills.  Reminded me of this one time I played with matches.  Anyways, let me tell you what I had to eat today because it was awesome.  I started off MLK Day at work with a banana and some apple cinnamon tea.  When I couldn’t take it no mo, I left the office to go to Central Market to make my own salad for lunch.  Unfortunately, I took the long way around the store and ended up with $40 worth of impulse buys (WTF is wrong with me?  I bought beer chips and I don’t even like beer.  CHIPS MADE WITH BEER.  THAT’S A NO SARA).

I NEEDED these. Or so I thought for a split second.

I Made a Mezza on My Desk.

The Signature Salad bar is $7.50/lb and it is so worth it.  They have just about all the goodies you can think of putting on a salad and I’m not talking about goldfish and jello.  Pictured above you’ll see I went with romaine mix covered with couscous, cucumbers, roasted bell peppers, hummus, tofu, tabbouleh, a dolma, 2 pita pieces, edamame and a side of balsamic vinaigrette for dipping.  It was INCREDIBLE.  Know what was not incredible?  Dinner.  It’s really difficult for me to write this considering Haiti just had an earthquake and there are people with no food, no running water, no clothes and no unlimited texting.  Here I am writing a food blog about to bash the free meal I got for dinner.  For that I apologize, but the show must go on.  For the next few months we have meals catered in due to the fact that we work redonkulous hours during tax season.  Tonight we had meatloaf, corn, green beans, mashed potatoes, rolls and salad.  Here’s my plate:

Yes, those are different colored green beans. Normal.

Coincidentally that is the before and after pic because I couldn’t choke down but one sample bite of each.  Needless to say I had the rest of my salad from lunch for dinner.

How was my weekend?  Hey thanks for asking!  It was pretty ballin.  Friday night we hit up Sushi Masu and Hibatchi for a little hot griddle action.  I had the scallops and my hot date ordered the filet mignon.  Apparently it was reward night because I certainly forgot my wallet.

Sushi Masu? More like Sushi Mushy.

I gots flava. Their miso soup don't.

Bonus salad with ginger sauce. It was aight. Nothing fancy. Like the Cowboys.

Crazy onion choo choo on fire trick! Never seen that one before! I suppose they're gonna retire this one too along with Conan.

Sometimes it’s better if you don’t see how things are cooked in front of you, especially if you are trying to eat healthier.  When I saw the chef adding butter to the scallops and vegetables and dousing everything with salt I kind of lost interest.  I like my scallops cooked simply with lemon and pepper so the buttered method was whack.  Jason thoroughly enjoyed the filet mignon though.  The vegetables were another disappointment because they were cooked too long.  I think the chef was too busy trying to make sure he used all of his ketchup bottle and knife juggling tricks during his “act” that he left the food on too long.  I don’t blame him.  Sometimes I drive to work only to realize I have gone past work and must u-turn.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling like J-Woww and was ready to conquer the day with Sleep, Tan and Clubbing.  Only in Dallas that equates to Running, Costco and Mystery Dinner Theater.  I whipped up an unbelievable bowl of simple oatmeal.

The H is for Hungry, fella?

Instant oats, greek yogurt, dab of maple peanut butter then topped with a small chopped honeycrisp apple.  This was the absolute perfect meal before I set off on a 5.5 mile run with Enzo Monster and Riley Bears.  It was finally warm again on Saturday and the weather was ideal for a nice run.  Also ideal for ring and runs but that’s another story.  After my run we hit up Costco to pick up 2,000 lbs of dog food.  I heart Costco so much.  Guess what I saw a lady carrying out?  A HUGE box of Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches!  It was like I died and went to lactose intolerant heaven!  Between that and the huge jugs of pomegranate juice, what more do you want from your ginormous grocery store?

Saturday night we went out with Jason’s boss and his wife and their friends to a mystery dinner theater party.  I had no idea what it would be like even after looking at the website but it turned out to be pretty fun.  I wish I knew then what I know now (obvi) because I would have asked a lot more people about their relationship history rather than what kind of underwear they had on.  Huh?  Let me explain.  When you first walk in they tell you the mystery has already begun so you grab your “Suspect” nametags and read an instruction sheet full of questions intended for the other party goers.  This event takes place in the Old Mill Inn Restaurant at Fair Park and the meet and greet introduction is done in the saloon downstairs.  It is open bar with a fruit/cheese platter set up as well.  They have actors mixed in with the group and you are supposed to try to find out as much as you can about these people and take notes.  One of the questions on the sheet was “What kind of underwear are you wearing?” so of course that’s all I asked all night.  People were like “Do you have a lot of money?” and I’m like, “Let’s be honest here.  What kind of underwear do you have on?”  After the meet and greet we all go upstairs for the three course din din.  WHICH INCLUDED CHICKEN IN A BISCUIT.  You heard me.  Chicken.  In a ferkin biscuit.  So weird.  Who would have thought?  I’m actually going to start making everything in a biscuit.  Or a pancake.  I mean seriously I would eat more vegetables if they were served inside a pancake.

The winning table. I sat there. Whit cheated off our sheet. He won.

Salmon, wild rice, asparagus, red bell pepper, OMG CHICKEN IN A MFA BISCUIT

Chocolate cream pie or some junk. Luby's?

Fake Stripper Money. Mystery dinner theater is dirtier than you think.

A clue! The shape is important. It's really a circle. Or is it? Remember sheep blood. And cow hats.

The Cop explaining "The Situation." It was more of "An Issue."

The winning couple who couldn't have done it without my astute observations. The only reason we didn't win is because I drew a pterodactyl on the answer sheet.

My nametag. Hello my name is "I'm a Suspect." And I'm wearing foil underwear.

I won’t tell you all the details of the dinner because I can’t ruin it.  This is the internet, people.  This blog could have 5 readers one day and 5 million the next.  When it gets to 5 million do you think we can have a party where we cook sh*t in a biscuit?  But srsly, if you can get a group together try out Keith and Margo’s Murder Mystery Theater.  Because let’s be serious, what else are you going to do in Dallas?  If your name is Ethan you’ll probably go dancing.  GOTEM.

Fast forward to Sunday.  We got fed up with Tony Romo and his spatula hands so we went for a walk through the Arbor Hills Nature Preserve.  I’ve been through some nature preserves before and this was not a nature preserve.  “Watch out for wildlife!”  Oooh ooooh I saw a kid wearing a tiger costume!  Do I win?  Even though the nature preserve was pretty lame, it was absolutely beautiful weather wise.  After running some errands we decided we had a craving for pho so we tried Pho Mac in Plano.  It wasn’t the greatest pho ever but it was cheap and it hit the spot.  We were super fungry so we also ordered a banh mi thit.  I said thit.

Pho Mac JAM PACKED WITH AWESOMENESS

Tofu Pho with bonus basil leaves, sprouts, jalapenos, lime and Sriracha Sauce. So simple, so pleasing to the palate. Amen.

We didn't just order pho because we're phat. Banh mi thit sandwich: pork, cilantro, shredded carrot, cucumber, awesome.

The sandwich was only $3!!  And the pho was $5.99!  The staff at Pho Mac was very friendly and the restaurant was clean and I would return pho sho.

That’s all she wrote kids.  Time to shower and hit the sack.  After I down this acai-blueberry-pomegranate Vitamin Water that I’m obsessed with.  Hollerz!

I just witnessed an apartment couple breakup so I’m a little emotional.  It was kind of sad because it was obvious the guy wanted to peel out for dramatic effect after the girl slammed the car door but he was in an awkward spot on the street so he had to settle for a 4 point turn.  Breakup FAIL.  When Jason and I fight at least we throw things that shatter.  Anyways, we were on our warm-up walk to the community gym to get swolled when all this action occurred.  We’ve been running a bunch lately but we both decided we wanted to incorporate weights into the workout routine.  I’ve never been one to go to the gym to work out and tonight reminded me why I don’t like to go.  It smelled like cat pee, there was a schizo singing to herself on the treadmill and we had to wait on Crackerjack and Rockstar to stop staring at themselves in the mirror so they would get off the machine.  Oh and I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.  I probably would like it a lot more if I had a trainer to SHOW ME what to do and when to stop.  But I don’t so now I’m sore.  Hey at least I pretended to know what I was doing.

If Tony Little and Chuck Norris had a baby...

Beats the self defense class going on upstairs. Miss Congeniality already taught me how to PWN a n00b: S.I.N.G. Solar Plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin!

Plank pose crooked back hold. I invented this move.

Um, sorry, he's taken. Unless he pulls a Ronnie and beats up a drunk guy on the Boardwalk. Then he's yours. Roid rage!

Like most days, I woke up this morning thinking about lunch.  I wanted to get to work and bust my butt to get things done so I could go out for something amazing.  You ready for the wrench in that plan?  One of my teammates, recently promoted to manager, kind of a big deal, was being all needy and wanted someone to take him to birthday lunch.  Can’t these people just be happy with what their wife packs in their lunch pail?  We wanted him to have his special day though so we told him to pick where he wanted to eat.  Anywhere is fine with us!  This is going to be awesome!  Birthday lunch somewhere amazing!  So we go to Chipotle.  WTF?

Choked down about half of this. As Lil Wayne would say, "I'm ill."

Punishment for making me eat Chipotle? Your picture on the interwebz holding a girl's purse. GOTEM.

Needless to say, lunch didn’t hit the spot for me.  I wanted a fun dinner so we decided to do breakfast.  Feeling the sudden urge to go green, I stopped by Tom Thumb on the way home and picked up some tomatillos, green pepper and celery.  Whipped up some tomatillo salsa by boiling the tomatillos for five minutes then throwing their crazy ass in the Vitamix with some agave nectar and Sriracha sauce.  Chopped up the green pepper and threw it in with the huevos.  Celery was used for bumps on a log minus the bumps.  Then of course we had to have our dose of Kodiak pancakes.

A do the crunchy crunch

Tomatillo salsa blendage. Rockage your faceage.

In a perfect world, this egg mixture would have set and I would have flipped it over to form the perfect omelette.

But alas we had to settle for scrambled eggs b/c I tarded. Had a side of orange stolen from work (Hi boss!), celery with maple peanut butter and pancakes with agave nectar. Got my drank on with a green tea latte with almond milk. HI-YAH.

Kodiak cakes. Whole wheat pancakes so good you slap yo mama.

Never one to leave a store with only the items I need, I kind of fell for a couple impulse buys.  I haven’t tried Amy’s pizza but their frozen meals are heaven as far as microwave dinners go.  I especially like their Indian meals and they use mostly organic ingredients.

$3.50 for an organiz pizza from Amy's. OMG BRB!

Dessert dilemma

Yeah I already had pancakes but I’m a professional eater and I still wanted something after our huge intense post emotional breakup workout.  My options?  Skinny cow ice cream sandwich or a honeycrisp apple.  I’m tempted to leave you hanging and not tell you what I picked until tomorrow but I can’t do that to my loyal readers.  All two of you.  I picked the apple.  LOUD APPLAUSE!  I might have the ice cream sandwich for breakfast though.

2:45am!  Getting awfully close to my bedtime!  We didn’t watch the 2 hr Jersey Shore special tonight (DO NOT tell me what happened to Snickers) so I can’t wait to get home tomorrow and have a watch party.  Also have to take down all the Christmas decorations.  Boo   Enzo peed all over our light up Christmas displays so I have to hurry up and put those on Craigslist too.  Kbye!

What is with Foodgarbl posting like cwazy all of a sudden?! I’ll tell you. I realized a goldmine was sitting here laying idle and I needed to unleash the proverbial beast. Oh and I’m hoping it will inspire me to lead a more active, entertaining lifestyle.  Right now the biggest kick I get out of my free time is returning something to Kohl’s.  So I’m just hoping to set some goals and finally reach them through talking about my attempt at doing so each day.  For example, I’ve always wanted to run a half marathon.  Jason and I started to train for one but we took a break when it got to be 105 degrees everyday and never got back in it.  Although we did dominate the Turkey Trot with a solid 8 miles.  I plan on picking a half marathon in the upcoming months and start training for it again.  I will garbl about my runs and eating habits to make sure I stay on target to finish 13.1 miles in under 12 hours.  I’ve also always wanted to be a good cook.  That’s a work in progress.  We scored big time at Christmas and are now the proud owners of a Kitchenaid mixer, Cuisinart food processor, Vitamix blender and rounded spatulas so we have no reason why we shouldn’t be whipping up some stellar meals.

Made some rhubarb cheesecake square dough up in hurr!

I already made vegan sweet potato carrot soup in here that would knock your toesocks off.

Whipped up some banana soft serve in here. I heart kitchen gadgets!

Let’s talk about lunch today!  My whoa-di’s wanted to eat quick because we have so much to do at work so we walked over to La Madeleine in Chase Tower.  I had a cup of tomato basil soup and a chicken salad sandwich with a side of fruit.

Pureed butter with a hint of herbs

Chicken Salad Cwossawnt with side of fwoot

The substitution of fruit was like $8.75.  My meal was $11 plus tax with no drink.  AWESOME!  The soup is delicious but from what I understand it is extremely high in calories.  Prolly didn’t help that my sandwich was served on a buttered croissant.  Or that I ate a ton of bread because it was free and I was trying to get my money’s worth.  Good thing I ran tonight.  Everything at Le Madeleine tastes rich and it is all overpriced.  If it had been up to me I wouldn’t have eaten there but I make giant sacrifices in life and that was one of them.

Tonight I had a maple peanut butter and strawberry preserves sandwich on Orowheat Wheat Sandwich Thins.  The peanut butter is SO DANG GOOD and I am obsessed with the sandwich thins because they taste so light, healthy and oh so delicious.  Along with my sammich I had some leftover lentils with sweet potatoes.  It was a totally random meal but I had to eat quick in order to go for a run tonight.  On the way home from our run we kind of ran into a pack of coyotes.  We first thought it was a cow but soon realized we were only about 20 yards from a bunch of howling wild animals.  And our dogs were off the leash.  Nice parenting.

Time for a Jillian Michaels punishment followed by a green tea latte before bed.  And I wonder why I can’t sleep.  YAY FOR WORK TOMORROW!!!  I leave you with a picture of the most adorable dogs in the world:

My Chillin