Our Austin adventures continued.  Rather than waste electricity, we took the almighty powerful road pwning gas guzzling Chevy Avalanche to brunch in downtown Austin at La Condesa.  Are electric vehicles the wave of the future?  Or is this going to be like that Segway fad that was so awesome that the inventor rolled off a cliff?

When the sign says walk, do so over to La Condesa for a Mexican brunchiesta.

Start with the guacamole.  Ask for it crazy and you’ll get watermelon, pomegranate seeds and feta on top.  Served with four salsa samplers.

You thought jalapenos were the only way to kick guacamole up a notch?  Think again.

Do yourself a huge favor and order one of their many varieties of aguas frescas made in house with seasonal flavors.  This stuff will make you want to punch Diet Coke chemicals in the face it’s so good.

What looks like a potential fire hazard is actually a crafty lighting design.

Huevos Rancheros.  Ranch Balls en ingles.  Will make you feel like you swallowed a bowling ball but it was delicious.

Huevos Condesa.  Condescending Balls en ingles.  You will feel like you swallowed a 3 pack of tennis balls but it was also delicious.

Molletes de Atun.  Tuna mullet en ingles.  Listed under the ensalades portion of the menu so I was expecting a salad for $14 with seared ahi tuna, arugula and salsa veracruz.  Instead I got a seared tuna aioli open faced torta with a side of six minute egg salsa.  Misleading on the menu but very yummy nonetheless.  Had a saffron aioli but would have enjoyed a wasabi aioli instead.  Aioli snob alert!  LOL!

Oh hey look it’s those trendy Segway things.  If these are still in use, maybe electric cars will last after all.  I mean if cliff diving doesn’t scare you then plugging a car into the wall shouldn’t either right?

I love leg tattoos, cracked out hippies in thongs, vegetarian chili, hipster bikes, Hello Kitty jorts, Town Lake trail and everything else about Austin.  The city is amazing.  If you haven’t been there, go there.  And be sure to drink a lot of water Kobayashi style because you’re going to need a stretched out stomach.

Jayschun and I recently made the southbound 35 trek to go visit my brudder, Tonnish.  He has the coolest life ever.  We are mad jelly so sometimes we tag along so we can play toos.  Tonnish hadn’t seen us in a long time so he had a ton of places lined up on his Crackberry agenda.  First up, Odd Duck Trailer.  This adorable little food trailer is a slice of outdoor picnic style gourmet heaven.

It was hotter than a Mazda 626 transmission after a trip to the grocery store so we cooled off with some Texas Tea.  All natural, no preservatives – like my squid sauce.

It took awhile to get our food but you don’t want to rush greatness.  Check out the pulled pork sandwich on a baguette with onions and peppers oh my!  Ballin out of ferkin control.

Odd Duck serves small plates so we ordered a couple to share since this was dinner 1 of 3 (primero if you will).  To accompany our pulled pork baguette we tried the tomato spiced melon feta salad.  Put down your fork!  Bring out the shovel!  I don’t even like tomatoes and I ate this salad like it was candy crack.

ONE WORD: PORK BELLY SLIDER.  It was the shiz.  My name is Sara Montoya.  You killed my pig.  Prepare to die.  Oh my pig is now this delicious sammy?  K nevermind thksbye.

Dinero segundo (2nd dinner for those that don’t speak Fatty) was a hop skip and a jump over to another trailer called El Naranjo.  They are actually in the midst of renovating an old house for a retail location but I don’t know why when they can dish out badass food from this lil cart on wheels.

One look at the Specials Board and I was drooling.  Okay let’s be honest, I have a drooling problem anyways but I had to have this soup.

The patio was darling and oh so cozy.

Look at this soup!  It tasted even bamfer than it looks.  It honestly tasted like spiced cantaloupe soup.  I just had to spellcheck cantaloupe.  I want to recreate this in my high powered blender.  It is so wonderfully fresh and flavorful that I could have had 3 bowls.  Too bad I had to save room for a taco and 3rd dinner.

I’ve been to enough taco trucks now to know quality meat and seasonings.  El Naranjo ranks right up there at the top.  Fresh corn tortillas, perfectly seasoned pork, fresh cilantro and onion and a squeeze of lime.  Oh and their sauce ain’t half bad either.  At this point my tummy was like what are you doing to me?  And I was all hey stomach why don’t you quit whining like a little baby?

How come William Sonoma doesn’t have meat spits available for wedding registries?  I guess Jason and I will have to register at Doner Kebap Restaurant Supply.

3rd dinner was luckily right around the corner from El Naranjo.  G’raj Mahal is an outdoor Indian trailer eatery with Moroccan style tents to eat under.

We started with the spiced potato and pea samosas served with mint and tamarind chutneys.  These were pretty good but were a bit heavy to start off with after already consuming what most people would consume in 2 meals.

There is something about fried food that just sits in your stomach and won’t go anywhere.  It’s like the Dirk Nowitzki of food.  You get up by a couple bowls of soup and then bam you’re tied up again.

We really should have stopped eating at this point but that’s not what champions do.  So we ordered some Baingan Bartha (pureed eggplant simmered in spices served with peas) and some Madrasi (curry).  I didn’t tell my brother at the time but I’ve had better Baingan Bartha.  It was good but I was not blown away.

The rice was plain jane.  I didn’t even write home about it. Didn’t have a stamp anyhow.

Same with the madrasi.  Maybe Indian food shouldn’t come from a trailer?   Or maybe after 2 dinners in a row the 3rd dinner no matter how great won’t taste as awesome?

Wait, you ordered dessert?  Um, yes.  Duh.  Two in fact. Indian beignets (fluffy donuts with spiced sugar) and some kulfi (homemade cardamom ice cream).  You can’t call a beignet Indian.  This was a fried donut with powdered sugar on top.  Good?  Yes.  You try and screw up a fried donut with powdered sugar.  Amazing?  No.  I’d take a Gourdough’s Donut over these any day.

The kulfi ice cream tasted way too much like whipped cream.  The chopped pistachios on top were a delicious addition but the consistency of the ice cream was whack and not dope.  I’d go back to G’raj Mahal for another shot but I probably won’t eat twice before going.

Have I reminded you that all of these meals were within the span of a few hours?  My stummy hurted.  But you can’t kick off an Austin trip w/o a trip to Amy’s Ice Cream.  WORTH EVERY CALORIE!!!!  DERP!

What?  You don’t get excited about toilet paper?

This is so ridiculous that I am in New York City and writing a review for a Mexican restaurant on Northwest Highway in Dallas but here goes!  If you can’t find Tipico’s, just look for the smoke coming out of the roof at El Regio next door or look for the stripclub billboard behind their sign.

This is not your average Mexican joint.  Well, I guess it might be along Northwest Highway.  But it’s certainly not TIPICO of Dallas Mexican food.

They offered two kinds of salsa.  One was watered down pico de gallo (good) and another served hot with what I think was nopalitos (cactus) mixed in.  The hot salsa was very good.

The decor was bright pastels, like a pinata.

The salsa was so good my dad drank the rest of his through a straw.  I promise we’re normal.  Kidding!  We’re not normal.

A side order of bistec taco  Looks sloppy but tastes good.

I ordered the fajitas which were awesome.  The chicken and caramelized onions combined with butter meat grease cooked beans rocked my world.

They make their own tortillas and they are floury buttery goodness.

They also offer corn but I highly recommend flour.

When we were done eating, a few things were said in the car:

Jason, “The seatbelt was a lot easier to buckle on the way here.”

My Dad, “Hey Mamaw get out I’m too fat to make the turn.”

As you can see, we enjoyed our meal at Tipico’s.  Now where’s the gym?

I had a dream the other night that someone opened a restaurant attached to a gas station in East Plano and sold dollar tacos.  The restaurant looked like an old diner from the outside and the waitstaff was super friendly and I could either get tres leches cake for dessert or go next door to the convenience store and get a Twix bar.  I woke up from my dream and could still smell the cilantro and fresh onion.  You know on Pawn Stars how the pawn shop owner has a bunch of friends he calls to see if things are legit?  Like he has an autograph friend and an aviation museum friend and a pre-1950′s guitar friend?  Well I have a food dream friend and his name is YELP.  Sure enough, I checked with my friend YELP and mother of dollar tacos IT WASN’T A DREAM AT ALL!

My dear Garblers, Chito’s is the type of place you dream of.  It really is attached to a gas station on Legacy Dr. between Alma and 75.  It really sells dollar tacos.  And it really is good.

Is it not the most adorable place?  It’s like an old diner with futbol on the big screens.

In my dream, the menu looked different.  It had a flying three legged donkey screaming “Ole!” across the top.  But the real menu is cute too.

Realistically, I could have ordered water and three chicken tacos for $3 and been completely full because I could eat two baskets of their chips and salsa by myself.  Their salsa is damn good.  It’s fresh.  Like DJ Pauly D’s shoes right as the cabs are here fresh.

I ordered a diet coke but they only had diet pepsi on tap or diet coke in the bottle.  It was too big of a decision so I ordered a tall glass of Horchata instead ($3).  They sprinkle a dash of cinnamon on top for extra sweetness.  It was delicious no doubt but really sweet and was not the perfect pairing for my tacos.  Definitely should have gone with the carbonated beverage.

We ordered a side of guac ($2.25) to start and it was exactly that – a side of guac.  Not meant for dipping.  It’s an optical illusion because it is served atop a bed of lettuce.  In my dream, the guacamole was served like a chocolate fountain.

Look at the adorable napkin holder!  Their restaurant logo is a cactus man.  In my dream I married cactus man but every time we hugged it hurt so I had to dump him for jicama man

Only bad part of our meal – the shrimp cocktail.  There wasn’t an ounce of spice in this tall glass and it was way too runny.  A good shrimp cocktail should be thick, have tons of fresh shrimp, tons of avocado chunks, fresh cilantro and a good kick from jalapenos.  For $8.99 I was no impresso.

The dollar tacos were legit.  Taqueria El Paisano No 1 still holds a place in my heart for best dollar tacos in Dallas but Chito’s is now my No 2 spot.  We got two of each kind: chicken, el pastor (pork), beef and barbacoa (sometimes cow head!  yum!).  The chicken was my favorite.

They bring you a tomatillo salsa and a red salsa to add flavor to the tacos.  The tomatillo salsa was a wee bit bland but the tacos really don’t need any more flavor aside from the fresh lime juice, onion and cilantro.

Can someone wipe the drool off my mouf?

Do yourself a favor and squeeze the lime all over your tacos.  Then rub your eyes.

Despite the nightmare that was the shrimp cocktail, I am so glad my Chito’s food dream was a reality.  And I can’t wait to go to New York with Jicama man.

I called my grandmother on Sunday and asked if I could take her to lunch on Valentine’s Day.  I didn’t expect her to remember our conversation but she called Monday morning and said she was dressed and ready!  Somebody was ready to bust out of the home and party!  My dad and I planned to take her to Garden Cafe but we got there and they were closed Mondays

Next stop: Mextopia on lower Greenville.

They have a nice patio that would be great for people watching during happy hour.  Lower Greenville used to be so trendy.  I guess it still is trendy if you have a nose ring.  Lately it just seems like it’s been riddled with fires and drunken attacks.  My uncle used to own a bar down the street from Mextopia.  One day a guy came in who had just been stabbed.  He just wanted a glass of water.  Rules are rules though, no shirt no stab wounds no service.

What was I talking about?  Oh yeah, Mextopia!  The interior is not too big and has bright colors and Mexican art on the walls.  They even have an open kitchen to watch the chefs making a big pot of pozole (Mexican pork and hominy stew).

The bar is typical of lower Greenville.  You have your beer, your tequila, your glasses.  It’s pretty awesome if you’re into that.

We started off with some guacamole (pronounced “wakaflocka”).  Their guac was ridonk.  Creamy and avocadoey with a hint of lime.  This was the large order.  Their salsa was tasty fresh too.  My grandmother doesn’t like spicy things but I saw her dipping her chips in the salsa like it wasn’t even no thang.  Maybe after all these years she’s coming around?

For my entree I went with the Calabaza con Pollo, a boneless chicken breast with squash, zucchini, corn and tomato in a light broth.  It was delicious but there was nothing light about the broth.  It basically flooded my plate (note the beans swimming in the broth).  Luckily, I don’t eat the rice and beans anyway.

Light broth residue:

My dad went with the fajitas and ordered them 5 star spicy hot.  We couldn’t tell if it was garlic salt or what but the chicken, peppers and onions were cooked to PERFECTION.  They were some delicious fajitas.

Served with corn tortillas (or flour if you drink maiz hatorade).

Oh your grandmother doesn’t take a shot of tequila on Valentine’s Day?  That’s weird.  (Mom – JOKING!  That’s water, we wouldn’t do that to her)

My dad told my grandmother if she was good and ate all of her soft cheese tacos then we would take her to get dessert.  You’ve never seen an 86-yr-old wolf down tacos like Crazy Bettye.  She wanted that frozen custard and nothing was going to stop her (except maybe a sopapilla).

We headed on over to Wild About Harry’s.  My dad and his daytime Valentine posed for the press.

Crazy Bettye had herself a scoop of pralines ‘n cream and I went with a vanilla concrete mixed with Heath bar pieces.  I don’t mean to compare but as you can tell by the picture, my dessert can beat up her dessert.

Sometimes I’m very discreet with my picture taking.  Here I feel that I captured the striking similarity between Hot Dog Man’s shoes and my dad’s Crocs.

We had a great time with the Beejinator (her name is Bettye Jane but we affectionately refer to her as: Crazy Bettye, Beej, BJ, Bettye, Whacked mother-in-law, Kablamaw, Mamaw and Memaw).  Getting old is whacked but when you have days like this, you tend to forget about the whackedness of it all.

Hacienda on Henderson
2326 North Henderson Avenue
Dallas, TX 75206-7024

Hacienda on Henderson, spanish for "Little house with BAMF patio"

They're open til 2am! I like their rice!

Hacienda on Henderson has gotten a bad rap.  Do them a favor and don’t google their reviews.  Just read Foodgarbl, the obvious choice in food critiquing.  We went here a couple weeks ago for lunch and the patio was perfect for one of our signature life discussions.  You know, where you sit around a table and everyone gets their iPhone out and doesn’t talk to each other?  You’d think we were antisocial but in those moments of silence, 72 point words are played, angry birds are slung at pigs, facebook statuses are updated and grocery lists are made.  Even though the main purpose of lunch is to get outta Dodge, we’re still hungry so we do indeed look forward to the food.  Bring on the white queso:

Queso Blanco. Healthy because it has tomatoes on top.

As a Texan, chips and salsa is as essential to my body as oxygen.

Chuy's salsa wannabe

My first bite of the queso was nothing memorable.  But after dipping my 12th chip I was like, “oh damn.”  Each additional bite added Flava Flav.  The salsa was good, definitely used fresh ingredients.  It was just nothing out of the ordinary, though.  It was watery like Chuy’s salsa with chunks of fresh tomatoes, onion and cilantro.  Could have had two bowls without a glass of water.  For the main entree I went with the grilled fish tacos.  SHOW THEM:

These were fantastic.  The fish was seasoned nicely and had fresh slaw on top.  The rice had grilled corn mixed in and was a pile of buttery goodness.  As sacrilegious as this might sound, I wish some restaurants would offer other options besides beans and rice.  It’s just so 1990 now.  My friend asked for and received a side salad with her chicken tacos and she was very pleased with her substitution.

Salad substituted for beans and rice. You gonna getcho money's worth.

I know it’s easy to make a huge batch of rice and beans in the morning and serve it all day but how much harder would it be to grill up some corn or offer a mango jalapeno slaw?  We need healthy options!  So we can go back to the office and order Tiff’s Treats!  Here are the brisket tacos that were raved about:

Brisket rhymes with Triscuit.

And Slow Moh tagged along to conquer some dessert:

Sopa People

The best part of Hacienda on Henderson is not the food, however.  It is the kickin patio:

We will most def go back to HOH for the patio alone.  The food did not blow me away but it was better than I expected.  I wish Hacienda had a signature dish or something that would make them stand out.  As it is, they are just another Mexican restaurant in Dallas.  Unless you count infused tequila as a competitive advantage.  Remember oxygen bars?  Yeah. Neither do I.

Hi Laura Bush!

Rusty Taco
4802 Greenville Avenue
Dallas, TX 75206

Rockin patio and plenty of parking for BMW's

We hit up Rusty Taco today for lunch after hearing lots of press about their grand opening.  At the corner of Greenville and University (Hi Serene!) in the former Just Brakes location, this new taco joint is a magnet for SMU students, SMU alumni, parents of SMU students and friends of SMU students visiting from UT.  They just opened this week so they are still working out the kinks but there was already a line out the door.  The line went pretty quick and I ordered two grilled fish tacos and a breakfast taco (said they served breakfast tacos all day).  To my disappointment, they stopped serving breakfast tacos by lunchtime.  Said they were still trying to figure out the logistics on that.  And here I was taking IHOP for granted all these years.  Oh well, I added a brisket taco and drink, paid my $8 and sat down.  The layout of this place really is cool.  It’s about to get hotter than a Network Engineer from Oklahoma with the Texas summer heat around the corner so the open air format won’t last long, but for now it is perfect with the open windows and patio seating.  We sat inside, but technically we sat outside toos.

Network Engineer from Oklahoma aka Texas Hotness

Line Was Out Tha Doe! At $8 a pop that's pretty ballin. Why don't I open a taco stand?

They bring you your order. And if your name is Sara they sing to you.

Cerveza cooler. I want one of these to sit in after long runs.

Now, to the important part – la comida mexicana!!  Although that is misleading because to sum up Rusty Taco in two words, I’d have to say, “GRINGO TACOS.”  For $2 per taco it’s hard to complain but I’d be willing to pay a dollar more if the tacos had flavor.  These are not your neighbor’s to the south tacos.  The grilled fish taco and brisket taco were nothing memorable in my opinion.  They throw some red cabbage, cilantro and chipotle cream on there but the fish flavor was pretty pungent.  The beef was meh.  And yet I heard a girl next to me say “did you try the brisket taco?  It is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.”  She also had a margarita, just saying.  A few of my lunch whoa-di’s ordered the queso and salsa so we could garbl those as well.  The queso tasted like 90% Velveeta, 8% tomatoes and 2% Lost island polar bear clumps.  Rusty Taco queso is to Bob Armstrong dip as Mark Cuban is to the Situation.  Although Mark’s back on my good side for investing in South Dallas.  And because the Mavs PWNed the Spurs tonight.

You put the lime on the taco and you eat it all up.

Gringo tacos

Clumpy and Lumpy walked into a bar...

The salsa was a fan favorite. So was the Hugh Grant lookalike but you had to be there.

House made chips were ver tasty! How much!?! $3 for salsa or queso with chips. Recession proof.

Corner slot is no eight ball, it is a chicken bone.

The above picture shows a chicken bone found in my friend Serene’s taco.  Serene is well known throughout all of Dallas for her unbelievably amazing Lazy Cake and she knows quality like nobody’s binness.  (in Gilly voice from SNL…) Rustyyyyyyy?  Did you put a chicken bone in Serene’s chicken taco?!?!?!  Sorree.

Rusty Tacos is still a bit…well…rusty.  I think they need to fix a few things (breakfast tacos served all day, Nickelback removed from the Jukebox, chicken bone discount, google a new queso recipe) but they have a neat concept, a great location and cheap prices.  Those 3 things alone will keep Dallasites coming back for more…

UNTIL…TORCHY’S OPENS!  That’s right kids.  You heard it here first on Foodgarbl.  Torchy’s is coming to Dallas!  Sorry Rusty, but it’s about to get BROUGHTEN.

Torchy’s Tacos Torchy’s is hitting the big city! Torchy’s Dallas location is opening in about 75 days! Dallas folks are you ready??? We’re gonna rock your world…;)

Here are pics from my last adventure in Austin at Torchy’s:

I liken Torchy's to a Mexican Disneyworld of sorts, minus the characters. Unless the characters can be mango habanero salsa and avocado cilantro creme sauce.

Breakfast of Champions. Champions = those who eat 3 meals before dinner.

I'm drooling

You tell me that doesn't look good. Just try. Can't do it can you?

I was so excited about the Torchy’s news that I went for a run tonight to try to get to my goal weight before they open so I can afford to gain 15 lbs.  Give or take 10.  After the run we decided to do refrigerator/freezer cleanout so I made us some smoothies using frozen nanners, blueberries, raspberries, almond milk, Chobani strawberry yogurt, half a cucumber, some flax meal and almond butter.  It was one of my better smoothies.  Wasn’t sure about throwing a cucumber in there but the Vitamix works wonders and smoothies are a great way to save veggies that are nearing the end of their life cycle.  Jason took his shirt off, did 50 push-ups, roared like a lion, then grilled veggie burgers for us (hippie fail).  I threw a little goat cheese crumble on mine and it was delicious.  We use the Don Lee Farms Veggie Patties from Costco and they really rock my world.  Gonna do a quick workout video, race the dogs up and down the stairs 5 times, shower and play words with friends.  I’m even jealous of my own life.

Chuy’s
4544 McKinney Ave (at Knox)
Dallas, TX 75205
(214) 559-2489

I learned two things on Friday (Promotion Day): a) you are pretty much expected to tard out all day and b) sometimes tarding out leads to rapid weight gain. We had two hours to kill before the big promotion party so we decided to T the F O at Chuy’s.  People typically either love or hate Chuy’s.  They love it because it has jalapeno ranch dip and the Elvis Room.  They hate it because they refuse to accept pigeons as people too.  We started off with the Chuy Gooey, a myocardial infarction topped with varicose veins and double chin sauce.

Jenny Craig Likes It!

It was too greasy for my liking.  That and there was frickin jalapeno ranch dip sitting there doing nothing in front of me.  I kid you not I probably consumed my weight in chips and ranch sauce before our entrees even came.  I’m fat.  But it’s okay because I know where to buy water belts now (Academy).  My main course was the Friday special, the Hatch Chile Chicken Enchiladas, which were coincidentally topped with more queso sauce (WINNER!).

The X is for Malcom

Mohsin ordered the chicka chicka boom boom dish.  He really liked it but kind of thought the chickens were jackin his style, trying to copy his swagga.  Wendy ordered the Chuy Special and raved about the blue corn tortillas.  Jane and Hudson both had the Friday special with me and noted the special kick that the hatch chiles provided.

On a side note, have you ever eaten so much your armpits got bigger?  Have you ever kept eating because you’re nervous that you may never eat again?  The only thing that probably kept me from continuing my gorge fest was the fact that there were a flock of pigeons on the patio dominating leftover chips and refried beans.  Note to those that want to enjoy Happy Hour at Chuy’s on the patio: the pigeons pooped on your table…enjoy