I can’t believe I’ve left you guys hanging all this time!  I get you all excited about my foodstravaganza and then I disappear.  Guess who’s back with a brand new recap?

We started off the day walking to Chelsea Market for lunch.  Chelsea Market is an enclosed urban food court, shopping mall, office building and television production facility most known as the home to Food Network.  I was really excited to see what it had to offer but after it was said and done, I felt like we had just visited a big ol’ tourist trap.

Cool architecture though.  This was built in the old National Biscuit Company (NABISCO) location where the Oreo was created.  Kind of a big deal.

We decided to eat lunch at Friedman’s Lunch because it has lunch in the name.  Duh.

Watch as your $20 sandwich is being made!

Believe it or not, no upcharge for burned bread!  This is the garden vegetable sandwich with turkey added.  It was actually $12.50.  With a pickle.

I also ordered a side of quinoa salad with dried cranberries, pine nuts and fennel.  This side was $4.00.  If you’ve seen the cost of pine nuts lately then that’s acceptable.

Jason ordered a southwest turkey burger for $11.00.  Our total bill with two canned drinks came to $30.50 before tax and tip.  For two people.  Chelsea Market rent ain’t cheap.

After lunch we walked down to Eleni’s Bakery in the same building to look around.  What kind of dooshnozzle buys Lacoste shirt cookies?

Speaking of nozzles, lol j/k, here is a typical NY couple.  Trendy McVelvetpants and his live in girlfriend Skin Anbones.

After falling for the Chelsea Market tourist trap, we decided to walk to Chinatown to visit our people.  If you don’t know already, I’m part Asian.  Not through genetics but through what I eat and the types of cars I buy.  On the way there we came across Miss Hoe.  Jason wouldn’t let me go in.  Bet if it was Mr. Pimp he would have let me.

Aaaaah Chinatown!  I’m home!  It really did feel like we had been transported to a different country.  Only because I couldn’t find a Starbucks anywhere.

The pigeons were pooping on this important dude’s sculpture.  Promise me if a Foodgarbl statue is ever built, it will have a pigeon zapper built in.

We found a booth selling durian, a southeast Asian stinky fruit with a thorn covered husk.  It smells like dirty socks and taste like almond custard.  Like everything at Applebee’s.

Sometimes I think Asian fruit is trying to hurt me.  Or this is really a black market and those are weapons.

Oh snaps we’re out of zimba grits and dried chestnut worm partridge feathers.  Don’t worry, I’ll pick some up.  But seriously, no idea what any of this is.  And yet I wanted to buy a sampling of all of it for our next Chopped challenge.

Whoa dried cinnamon rolls!  SWEET!

Since we had already come this far, we decided to walk down to see the Brooklyn bridge.  New post to come…

I’ve been MIA for about a week now because I was trapped under like 20″ of snow.  Okay so it’s been nearly 80 the last few days but last week was cwazy again!  We actually didn’t get that much more snow but did you know water freezes on the roads to create ice and that causes dangerous driving conditions?  Most Texans didn’t know either which is why there are car sized holes in brick walls all over town.  Thanks insurance rates!  Jason’s co-worker totaled his car in their parking lot and that was all the info I needed to keep my warm toasty little buns at home.

To survive the wintry mix, I joined the oatmeal club.  Cross your fingers because I’m up for treasurer!

Even our grill was all snowed in and shiz.

We had major cabin fever so we took the mutts on a walk every few hours to break in our boots.

My number one Foodgarbl reader got me these Bearpaw boots from MACY’S (BALLOONS!) and I’m so grateful that she did.  Saved my little footsies from frostbite.

Despite the 5″ of snow, Enzo and Riley were still determined to catch a rabbit for dinner.  I told them I had ingredients for taco salad but they wanted something a little more gamey.  So we played Twister!

This, my friends, is called curb training.  Look at my good little boy stopping at the curb even though it’s covered with snow!  Now if I can just get him to make me pancakes, we’d be set.  Side story, my Dad told me that he sent Piper out to get the paper after the big snow day and she couldn’t find it so she went to get the neighbor’s.  Atta girl Pipe.

During one of our walks, we decided to stop by Lone Star Coffee Bar for lunch.  You can drive by this place and miss it a thousand times but if you’re lucky enough to stop in, they have awesome drinks and excellent sandwiches.  I went with the turkey sandwich and it was like a magical turkey sandwich prince rode in on a white horse and gave it a special aioli and slaw to take it to sandwich heaven.

Slap me silly with that melted cheese and I won’t even get mad.

After lunch, THE HITTLE!!!  E’rbody took advantage of the fire department closing the street due to dangerous driving conditions.  I didn’t see Mr. Hittle out there but it’s probably because he was busy signing autographs after doing a triple turnpike lutz down his namesake hill.

It wasn’t exactly Aspen out there but that didn’t stop this kid from trying to score a snowboarding contract with the National Awesome Snowboarding Association (NASA).

The crowd favorite, however, was this homeboy with the four wheeler who was towing peeps down the hill on sleds.

Can’t have a party without Snooks!  A few drunk chicks made this Snooki snow(wo)man and were all giggles when they saw me taking a picture of it.  Especially when I told them I was with Time Magazine.

I gotta hand it to this girl.  Slippery conditions everywhere and she wears boots with heels.  Not logical, but sometimes you gotta dress to impress.

Wait, a Ford that couldn’t handle the road and drove over a curb and got stuck?  That’s weird.  Never seen that in Texas.  Except daily.

Jason outn00bed me with his camera and I got mad and threw a snowball at him but he’s so hot that it melted before it got to him

We took the puppies back to their favorite field for some snow races and they were happy monsters!  Until we made them sit and their bobo’s froze.

I feel like I’m too old to appear on the cover of a Wheaties box but if I could I would want this to be my pose.

I mean that’s practically a one legged landing.  I’m no gymnast but I do enjoy playing under power lines.

Have you ever seen a cuter Derp face?

Playing in the snow wore me out so I took advantage of an empty pool and laid out for a few hours.

Well, I really didn’t think it could happen but the interstate pants gang has struck again.  My grandmother suffers from dementia and is convinced that there is a gang of people that sneaks into her room at night when she’s sleeping and steals her pants.  They don’t steal her flat screen tv or her fresh pair of kicks, they’re in it for the pants.  You know the kind:

Sought After Pants

The closest I’ve been to a memory related illness before this was reading The Notebook.  Dementia is sad business.  We have to find a little humor in it otherwise it would be completely miserable and depressing with every visit.  We had a good visit tonight despite the fact that we had to narrow down exactly what size the pants gang was after.

Yesterday was an epic fail if you look at it from the standpoint of getting a jump on the day.  We didn’t exactly make it to the lake by 7am as planned.  However, we ran a bunch of errands, hit up a late lunch at Baker Bros with a coupon (two huge salads for only $7!) and then headed to White Rock around 7pm for a night ride.  It was my first time to wear the diaper shorts:

Shake it fast but watch yourself.

Not recommended for loungewear.

Believe it or not, I couldn’t even tell how obnoxious they were once we started riding.  And I do think they help when you’re on the bike for hours at a time.  We made it around the lake 3 times in 2 hours for a little over 27 miles.  We wanted to get another hour of riding in but it was getting really dark and we were getting pelted by bugs every few seconds.  We straight up dominated the ride though.  It was my first time to use the shoes that clip into the pedals and it was like my feet were on crack.  I can go so much faster!  The first time we stopped for a water break I forgot about my shoes being clipped in and just as I was about to fall over Jason yelled “SHOES!” so I unclipped at the last minute saving my pretty mug from a disastrous face plant.

I wore gloves in honor of Michael Jackson. And his son Blanket.

Did I mention that I did a Jillian Michael’s No More Trouble Zones before I went on the bike ride yesterday?  Yeah, my body is mad at me right now.  I am every bit as sore today as I was after the half marathon but I’m so glad I’ve found a new challenging way to exercise.

Today was pretty uneventful in the way of food.  We had Great American Hero for lunch (#7 turkey with avocado on wheat, add lettuce oil and vinegar).  They have a ginormous menu, a super friendly staff and a dang good sandwich.

Forgot to take a pic of my sandwich. Sowwy.

Dinner was a veggie burger and some guacamole made by the house chef.  I don’t pay him or anything but sometimes I do his laundry without shrinking anything so it’s a fair trade.

Forgot to take a picture of the guacamole. Sowwy.

Tomorrow is going to be awesome.  Know why?  Because I get my intro to Sharepoint book from Amazon!!!  Sometimes your life is just clicking on all cylinders, you know?

Village Burger Bar
Shops at Legacy
5700 Legacy Drive, A5
Plano, TX 75024

I’m going to warn you right off the bat…there is a high probability that you will run into a douchebag at Village Burger Bar.

Douchebag. By Ralph Lauren.

Maybe it’s something about the word “Village” that makes them think they can congregate in a safe haven of white moccasins, fauxhawks and Axe Body Spray.  But the food, atmosphere and drink specials are worth every popped collar.

Pomaritadoodle (if you are a dude and you order one, you probably cried during Steel Magnolias)

Cold Burr Hurr

If you can hold your appetite until 9, they offer reverse happy hour where specialty drinks like mojitos and margaritas are half off or you can get a beer lantern with your friends.  A beer lantern is a pourable pitcher of beer surrounded by ice.  Imagine a Lemon Chill.  With the addition of ice, it takes lemonade to the next level does it not?  Now imagine Paul Wall without a grill.  My point exactly.  There are no food specials but the burgers and sandwiches are reasonably priced and they are delicious.  Try the chicken burger and a side salad if you are one of the 8.4 billion people who vowed to eat healthier in 2010.

Happy Meal

Pretty Bamfed up Side Salad if you Axe Me.

Plain looking but the magic is on the inside. On a side note, does Magic Johnson still have AIDS?

Awesome Blossom Dissected

I had the chicken pesto panini, sweet potato fries and part of Jason’s salad and I could still suck in my gut enough to squeeze past a bunch of guys in designer jeans.  The chicken pesto panini is a little taste of yuppie heaven.  If you’re a fan of pesto, try this.  So you know, I’ve been to the West Village VBB location twice and the Legacy VBB location twice and I think it’s safe to say the food is consistently good.  If you are in the downtown area for lunch though, please make it a point to go to VBB in Uptown so you can see for yourself the broads that are worn out from shopping all morning and MUST stop for a bottle of Voss water to accompany their panini.

PD Johnson’s Dog Day Deli (nice name not)
3839 McKinney Avenue
Dallas, Texas 75204

Let’s just get right to the meat of it…THEY CHARGE FOR WATER!  Dubbleyooteeeff mate?  See for yourself:

Is it a collector cup? No. Is the ice infused with herbal extract? No.

I don’t have to garbl about paying for water because I’m sure everyone reading this is like “WHAT?  BUMP THAT.”  So I’ll just keep telling you about my stupid lunch.  I paid $9.95 for a regular “Hanky Panky” sandwich and soda.  Yes, you heard correctly.  $9.95.  But guess what?  If I wanted it heated, it would have cost $.50 more.  HORSESHIT.  Here’s my sandwich:

Whoa! Calm down sandwich. You're so big I don't know if I can finish you!

The “Hanky Panky” consists of turkey, cheese, lettuce, bacon, avocado and mayo.  I said no bacon but don’t for one second think they gave me a discount.  That would be whack.  The sandwich was aight.  I think it was smoked turkey because it had a sweet smoked funk to it but I could definitely tell all the ingredients were fresh like Dougie.  You can choose from four different kinds of bread: white (figures), wheat (farmer Dan), sourdough (we’re not in San Fran stop fronting) and jalapeno cheddar (ay ay ay!).  NOTHING warranted paying that much though.  My friend even said they looked at her funny when she went to get a napkin.  Like, “you gonna pay for that?”  The people that work there seem to have an attitude like “this is Uptown, I do what I want.”  The clientele is most def Uptowners – a mix of those that have jobs and wear cuff links and those that don’t have jobs because that would get in the way of them working out and shopping (thank you Daddy!)  I really don’t even want to go into more detail about this joint because I’d rather eat a Kashi granola bar and do bikram yoga.  This has nothing to do with the food blog but this chick is wearing yellow capri pants:

They call her Mellow Yellow

Any damn way, would I go back here?  No.  Because for the same price I can get a kickass pizza at Grimaldi’s right down the street (blog post coming soon!)

PS – Miley Cyrus makes me want to smoke crack.