Well, I really didn’t think it could happen but the interstate pants gang has struck again.  My grandmother suffers from dementia and is convinced that there is a gang of people that sneaks into her room at night when she’s sleeping and steals her pants.  They don’t steal her flat screen tv or her fresh pair of kicks, they’re in it for the pants.  You know the kind:

Sought After Pants

The closest I’ve been to a memory related illness before this was reading The Notebook.  Dementia is sad business.  We have to find a little humor in it otherwise it would be completely miserable and depressing with every visit.  We had a good visit tonight despite the fact that we had to narrow down exactly what size the pants gang was after.

Yesterday was an epic fail if you look at it from the standpoint of getting a jump on the day.  We didn’t exactly make it to the lake by 7am as planned.  However, we ran a bunch of errands, hit up a late lunch at Baker Bros with a coupon (two huge salads for only $7!) and then headed to White Rock around 7pm for a night ride.  It was my first time to wear the diaper shorts:

Shake it fast but watch yourself.

Not recommended for loungewear.

Believe it or not, I couldn’t even tell how obnoxious they were once we started riding.  And I do think they help when you’re on the bike for hours at a time.  We made it around the lake 3 times in 2 hours for a little over 27 miles.  We wanted to get another hour of riding in but it was getting really dark and we were getting pelted by bugs every few seconds.  We straight up dominated the ride though.  It was my first time to use the shoes that clip into the pedals and it was like my feet were on crack.  I can go so much faster!  The first time we stopped for a water break I forgot about my shoes being clipped in and just as I was about to fall over Jason yelled “SHOES!” so I unclipped at the last minute saving my pretty mug from a disastrous face plant.

I wore gloves in honor of Michael Jackson. And his son Blanket.

Did I mention that I did a Jillian Michael’s No More Trouble Zones before I went on the bike ride yesterday?  Yeah, my body is mad at me right now.  I am every bit as sore today as I was after the half marathon but I’m so glad I’ve found a new challenging way to exercise.

Today was pretty uneventful in the way of food.  We had Great American Hero for lunch (#7 turkey with avocado on wheat, add lettuce oil and vinegar).  They have a ginormous menu, a super friendly staff and a dang good sandwich.

Forgot to take a pic of my sandwich. Sowwy.

Dinner was a veggie burger and some guacamole made by the house chef.  I don’t pay him or anything but sometimes I do his laundry without shrinking anything so it’s a fair trade.

Forgot to take a picture of the guacamole. Sowwy.

Tomorrow is going to be awesome.  Know why?  Because I get my intro to Sharepoint book from Amazon!!!  Sometimes your life is just clicking on all cylinders, you know?

Village Burger Bar
Shops at Legacy
5700 Legacy Drive, A5
Plano, TX 75024

I’m going to warn you right off the bat…there is a high probability that you will run into a douchebag at Village Burger Bar.

Douchebag. By Ralph Lauren.

Maybe it’s something about the word “Village” that makes them think they can congregate in a safe haven of white moccasins, fauxhawks and Axe Body Spray.  But the food, atmosphere and drink specials are worth every popped collar.

Pomaritadoodle (if you are a dude and you order one, you probably cried during Steel Magnolias)

Cold Burr Hurr

If you can hold your appetite until 9, they offer reverse happy hour where specialty drinks like mojitos and margaritas are half off or you can get a beer lantern with your friends.  A beer lantern is a pourable pitcher of beer surrounded by ice.  Imagine a Lemon Chill.  With the addition of ice, it takes lemonade to the next level does it not?  Now imagine Paul Wall without a grill.  My point exactly.  There are no food specials but the burgers and sandwiches are reasonably priced and they are delicious.  Try the chicken burger and a side salad if you are one of the 8.4 billion people who vowed to eat healthier in 2010.

Happy Meal

Pretty Bamfed up Side Salad if you Axe Me.

Plain looking but the magic is on the inside. On a side note, does Magic Johnson still have AIDS?

Awesome Blossom Dissected

I had the chicken pesto panini, sweet potato fries and part of Jason’s salad and I could still suck in my gut enough to squeeze past a bunch of guys in designer jeans.  The chicken pesto panini is a little taste of yuppie heaven.  If you’re a fan of pesto, try this.  So you know, I’ve been to the West Village VBB location twice and the Legacy VBB location twice and I think it’s safe to say the food is consistently good.  If you are in the downtown area for lunch though, please make it a point to go to VBB in Uptown so you can see for yourself the broads that are worn out from shopping all morning and MUST stop for a bottle of Voss water to accompany their panini.

PD Johnson’s Dog Day Deli (nice name not)
3839 McKinney Avenue
Dallas, Texas 75204

Let’s just get right to the meat of it…THEY CHARGE FOR WATER!  Dubbleyooteeeff mate?  See for yourself:

Is it a collector cup? No. Is the ice infused with herbal extract? No.

I don’t have to garbl about paying for water because I’m sure everyone reading this is like “WHAT?  BUMP THAT.”  So I’ll just keep telling you about my stupid lunch.  I paid $9.95 for a regular “Hanky Panky” sandwich and soda.  Yes, you heard correctly.  $9.95.  But guess what?  If I wanted it heated, it would have cost $.50 more.  HORSESHIT.  Here’s my sandwich:

Whoa! Calm down sandwich. You're so big I don't know if I can finish you!

The “Hanky Panky” consists of turkey, cheese, lettuce, bacon, avocado and mayo.  I said no bacon but don’t for one second think they gave me a discount.  That would be whack.  The sandwich was aight.  I think it was smoked turkey because it had a sweet smoked funk to it but I could definitely tell all the ingredients were fresh like Dougie.  You can choose from four different kinds of bread: white (figures), wheat (farmer Dan), sourdough (we’re not in San Fran stop fronting) and jalapeno cheddar (ay ay ay!).  NOTHING warranted paying that much though.  My friend even said they looked at her funny when she went to get a napkin.  Like, “you gonna pay for that?”  The people that work there seem to have an attitude like “this is Uptown, I do what I want.”  The clientele is most def Uptowners – a mix of those that have jobs and wear cuff links and those that don’t have jobs because that would get in the way of them working out and shopping (thank you Daddy!)  I really don’t even want to go into more detail about this joint because I’d rather eat a Kashi granola bar and do bikram yoga.  This has nothing to do with the food blog but this chick is wearing yellow capri pants:

They call her Mellow Yellow

Any damn way, would I go back here?  No.  Because for the same price I can get a kickass pizza at Grimaldi’s right down the street (blog post coming soon!)

PS – Miley Cyrus makes me want to smoke crack.